|urVe thE 1 Tt huRtZ uR hEArt, nV huRt thE 1 u LurVe

2008-08-04T20:23:00.002+08:00

haven penned a single word in tis sphere for over 1 yr...lemme' c wat shld i doodle on(,'')

different evaluation for my boss...u noe, i used to tink she's sucha poised and elegant lady, exhuming lotsa intelligence and charisma...heh, but i was shaken up by her er, prolly screwed up mentality...

the story goes like tis...a few wks, prolly 2 fortnights ago, i was approached by my colleague, she made her way into my cubicle, wanted to relate some work stuff to me. b4 she weave in the details, i was thrown an idiotic qn "chelsea, u smoke ah?" when i told her yup, she smacked my back. saying smoking is bad and stuff like tt la...

sigh, due to these gossip mongers, my boss noes it...u noe...these bitches, the things u told them is equivalent to telling it to my boss face to face....they just cant shut their fucking mouth...

boss attitude changed drastically!!! rant and glared at me for the slightest, i wun even say mistake, er prolly i would say slightest "indifference"??? i cant stand it, tt's y went str into her room, asking her if smokers equate to bad man and non-smokers equate to a better man...she was taken aback of cos! i was asking if my work competencies are compromised as a result o my smoking breaks...mind u...i only go for 2 short breaks k...haha...her expression was funny thou...sorta face tt was run down by a bulldozer...YES smashed...but i did give her a deadline for her to tell me her evaluation for my "lecture"...i wld say, she's a cowardice...she was looking in my face few days ltr...saying my complexion has improved...i was like "huh?" wanted to answer her cos i smokee wat...heh...but din la...i'm nice, telling her i ate tonnes o oats and fruits nowaadays...tt's y...

came back frm Bintan last wk...realli bad diarhhroea...but the food there was pretty gd...2 days 1 night...400 bucks went down the drain...hell...

i simply love my new laptop...heh...cheers k...my 3 days old boy *beam*

2007-05-18T19:38:00.000+08:00

clubbed w jac on wed...not exactly club thou cos i refused to dance...guess i've pissed her off...imagine when 2 guys n a gal grooving in front o u...urging u to join in the fun...n u dun budge...nah...i'm too lethargic to feel embarassed...

but i'm awakened by baby's call at 2 plus...haha...tt bugger actualli called me to ask if i'm home...i din noe he'll b paranoid...but i like!!! juZ like it when he squeal when i told him abt some new guy i met in the club...haha...sulking like a kid...but when m i gonna c him...i miss hugging him...boo!!!

(thurs) my boss's daughter's awesome can...she bought me sunflowers...woot! haha...i'm so touched la...but my mum tot tt's a little les-ly...erm...she's reading too much btwn the line...had a short chat w her over dinner...it feels so good to be taken care of...thank u gal! oh ya...cant wait to go bangkok w u...woah...we can step on our shopping spree...i'm curbing, trying to tighten my purse now...heh:)

n the damn steriod jab today's giving me occasional pressure on my ear...felt tight at times...a little bite-ty feelg...eWWw...

2007-05-06T15:40:00.001+08:00

hehe...finalli found it...kuku me...changed my username n forgetting it

juZ came home from the removal o ear stitches...din get disfigured like wat everyone says...so doc frm ttsh aint too bad!!! it's juZ tt waiting time's hell!

a joyful day, went to get a new cardigan for my new green top...n a cross stitch, making sth for baby...wat a lovely gf...nah...trying to reciprocate cos baby made me a puzzle!!! haha...so touched can! muack...i love u!

love's in the air

2007-05-06T15:40:00.000+08:00

where the fuck is all my prev entries from aesgnitiylehc.blogspot.com???!!!work's kinda smooth sailing exp for some idiots in my workplace...i dun tink u've come across trainer who rant vulgarities at u...have u? i get screwed over peanuts...i'm paid not too bad an amt to perform idiotproof tasks...for instance, scanning mountain tall invoices...imagine standing in front o the photocopier for 5 hrs to scan 1000 over invoices...i speculate anyone with a sweet temperament will definitely deviate significantly...so many deadlines to rush...hafta issue the piles o cheques by 11am daily...den i hafta close giro on the 5th and 15th o every mth...hafta close contra n non-contra every end o the mth...so on n so forth...HELL!!! nonetheless...i'm leaving them for good soon...my interview today went kinda smoothly...got another interview tml as well...haha...lady luck's by my side...i'm a blessed kid i noe...meeting baby up tis thurs...hopefully he dun perform stunts again tellg him he so fucking busy...got him a big pony polo...hah...dun tink it's veri nice...but i tink its the most decent pc ard currently...hope he'll like it...i miss him...miss my poly mates...miss my st nicks pals...everyone!!! meeting chewie and co. up tml...hah...tink its to get pressie for ping's bday...and xin's...great...!!! may hasnt start n i've spent 1/3 o my apr's pay...haha...i m trying to curb my savings but seems like its not gettin anywhere...ba!

2007-03-08T13:00:00.001+08:00

indeed...he flew my kite today again...supposed to meet him ltr in the day tonight..i'm once again substituted by his work...he forgot all his promises to me...he forgot everything he'd said...y m i so upset? i dunno...i guess i can quite anticipate such scenario...but i'm bearing grudges still...turned down all interviews today...cos i dun wanna tire myself out...wat do i get in return? NOTHING...

looks like the onli way to redeem myself is to work...once again, retribution sets in...

2007-03-08T13:00:00.000+08:00

back to blogsphere after 1.5 mths o disappearance...

i guess i was too laggy...or perhaps my tagboard ran into some technical prob...i had someone by the nick o "someone" pondering if i've changed my bf...

erm...theoretically speaking no...since i'm w him since last dec...logically if u onli noe edmund's my den bf...den yes, i've changed!

meeting him ltr in the nite...wondering if tis time round he gonna live up to his words...once bitten twice shy...he had stood me up trillion times...wat's one more?

was trashing out to him how insignificant i felt as compared to his workload...i've nv felt so small b4 since i'm usualli the domineering one...i tink i've said b4 i wanted tis to work badly...prolly it's time to re-evaluate...

i feel so worthless now cos i'm still unemployed...oh lord...drop me some hints or rains o job opportunities...i need to kill my time badly...i've been rotting home since last thurs...not to mention i've been out on my usual shoppg spree...

oh ya...finalli met up w chowchow on sun...heh...i realli love her lots...love it when she whisper n crap into my ears...love it when she shower me w sweet lil things...my mum love her too cos we r on her mind thou she might b out in hongkong at times...but i hate it when she told me ages ago she might return to HK...cross my fingers tt day wil not befall us...i noe she din wanna return...she's more fren-oriented when she's single...eh...gal, got hear my complaints or not?

hopefully i'm not doin too badly for exams...i juZ want to clear my modules...n proceed to a diff phase...

2007-01-08T17:15:00.000+08:00

results're tumbling thou it's nv fantastic...haha made a huge flop today...one wrong input cause me 25marks...bet i'm the onli idiotic carcass lying ard tis time...thus i forecast there's no leniency when sharon lhu's marking the paper...she sounded kinda nice thou over the fone when i called...n said she'll mark according to differing circumstances, hope it's not juZ a coax...

took QM test as well, relatively str4ward...

oh ya, transferred some cash to baby...wondering wat's up his sleeves...bank account got prob??? seriously...i still cant tink of wat prob could it b? the onli thing i cld tink abt is he's broke but too ashamed to tell me the truth...haha...

bogged down by so many work tis wk...i haven gotten ready my CRM script...due on thurs...all cos o mgt acc paper tis noon, jeopardize my mood...yeah...will come by tml i guess...off to catch some rest...wake up real earli tis morn...

lucks to pple who're tested tis thurs...study well!

2007-01-05T21:02:00.000+08:00

i'm gettin old...lol, feeling lethargic 15 mins after i left my home...met chewy n co. for kbox...a good time...a rare guest joined us...yup...the long awaited return o KAI XIN...

a good way to start my day...but when i gonna give thumb up for my entire day...i sprained my bloody ankle...goodness...i was procrastinating if i shld tk a cab den...holy shit...u dun hafta make me sprain my ankle to give me a damn good excuse to board the cab rite...scare the hell outta me when my ankle gave way...giving a slight crack...god bless...i'm fine...meeting up w baby tis sun...but i've a strong feeling he cant make it...no faith no trust...

2007-01-04T21:27:00.000+08:00

the inflicted pain had gradually tk its leave, i'm gradualli feeling numb in all these waitings...many a times i wanna probe "how long do u wan me to continue waiting, n how long do u tink i can wait"...i also wanna probe "since u say ur life onli revolve ard ur family cos ur gf might eventually leave u, den y make me ur gal"...so many uncertainties...so many whys...i used to get uptight when he din msg me for more den 12 hrs...i used to cry on my slpless nites...i used to do many stupid lil things for him...i used to...

after 30 dec...after a long day o pinning...after a long day he failed to contact me...it seems like i've relived my singlehood...relived a scrutineer in love...haha...wat a flop after a long attempt...i give up...i surrender...Y? cos it's alreadi january...he promised to b nice...he promised he'll b less hectic...it's alr the 4th jan...i still cant feel a tinge o changes in his bustling schedule...it seems impossible for me to fit in...he dun deserve me anyw...can someone knock some sense into me...y m i stranded in this fruitless relationship...i'm a nutcase...i love him n i'm sure he din love me as much as i do...i pin for him n obviously he doesnt feel as strongly as wat i feel...i miss him tremendously...but prolly he misses juZ an iceberg o wat i feel...none o the above's reciprocated...giving is a gift in love...receiving is a bonus...i wan to make sacrifices...but better pull myself outta pit b4 i fall deeper...

shall stop all these ramblings...but my mood's lousy...frigging lousy...off form

2006-12-29T14:50:00.000+08:00

my vomits stink, diarhheoa stinks, n love stinks...he din even bother to call me in btwn to ask if i'm well...wat kinda moronic bf is tis...i m determined to sever ties...is work more impt den me??? fuck...fuckg pissed...gave him so many chances, he refuses to repent...i promise...he'll b outta my life frm tml onwards...i swear n i give my oath...FUCK!!!

|urve_|urve_|urve

2006-12-14T21:20:00.000+08:00

i'm in love once again!!! triumphant i guess...

we had a rough patch b4 we got together...juZ some argument...but it nearly drove us nuts, we were near to "severing ties"...how grave is tt

but it was sweet since we "tied the knots since saturday"...saturated w hope n happiness...met up w him on sat...sweet get-together...

but i freaked out on monday...he's an ultra sensitive guy, we were juZ discussing how happy i was cos i m able to indulge in the meatball from IKEA as my kind fren packed it for me, b4 catchg a movie in cine...he replied "well, since u r easily contented and satisfied den i nd not spend too much time on u as ur other frens can do a good job as well..."

i told him those guys were juZ substitutes n they r willing to die in ur shoe...

he replied " well in my knowledge, if one can b substituted, he is no longer holding an impt place in dat position anymore..."

frigging intimidating...attempted to msg him so many time, none were replied...my tears flowed involuntarily of cos...i tot it was the end o us again...when he finally called, i thank god for it, since when i'm into religion...pple do change, dun we?

fetched him anticough tea on tues, sprang a surprise since he weren't aware i will b waiting for him, i was so disappointed when he told me he's waitg for his frens, but m touched when he fly tt guy's kite n joined me instead...

he stared at me, askin me to promise there'll b no repetitions o such act, cos it's so late in the nite, n i'm alone...he nearli drove me to desperation when he said he'll pay for me to go home...fucking pissed can...i walked off, but at least he grabbed me...easing some o my pain...but we made up soon after...

i noe i m plain dumb n stupid...i badly wan tis relationship to work out...not cos i'm egoistic...but i tink i realli fall in real deep...i feel inadequate security...as much as i wanna get closer to him, i feared i will b a nuisance...

love stinks...but at least i'm glad he changed his nick to "she will b loved alwiz" how sweet!!! haha...nvm, i'm once again in a cranky mood...and we r two cranky bitches...right baby?

2006-12-06T23:04:00.000+08:00

i m finalli back to blogging...mmm veri nua sem...cos all my days end ard 11-12...yup, i m dying to look for a job to kill my frigging time...broke up w edmund, not feelg upset abt it, cos i tink things r meant to b, if we r still feeling the same for each other in 1.5 yrs to come, we'll still click rite???

heh...below's juZ a test o myself...

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

What's your personality love style?
Here is the analysis:

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

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2006-11-04T13:40:00.000+08:00

mixed feelings scattered in the office ytd... it was my last day...supposedly gleeful to spend my last day in the so-called hell i called it 2 mths back...

i've grown attached to the pple there i guess...was glad they opened up n said they wld like me back in the office during my vacation...i'm not too hard to get along at the veri least...PROUD!

the reluctance o me leaving has caused a dent in my mood n expression when i was distributing the gifts....i took closer looks at them...n in turn felt a loss...haha...miraculous rite...the hatred n grievances immediately diminished!...i guess we dun understand each other enuff...

i had 2 staffs who r kinda alienated to me...but they're sweet to get sth for sweet tooth like me...thX peeps...n my dept colleagues got me necklace...i actualli ask the most retarded qn..."why u get me this chunky necklace? how u noe i like?" haha they answered in unison...we muZ b blind if we dunno...u wore tt everyday wat...

we're telepathic den! i will miss u guys! i will pop by often for lunch!

finally got my new bedframe...gosh...i've to part w my 900+ cash...haha...pocket's bleeding for help but it's NICE...everything is nice w tt frame...no complaints...still in search for a sofa unit and tv bench thou...any takers?

2006-10-14T10:56:00.000+08:00

peeps...dun lve tags on my tagboard....i cant view it anyw...cos i dun rem having passwords for my blog...yup...msg me or anything yea?

thurs's a heartbreakg day for me...cos my sweetie left the workplace for good...to pursue her 2nd sem studies...the new temp assigned to us was ridiculous...she din turn up for the 1st reporting day...n she din come ytd...which is her 1st handover day...damn it...but good thing she din turn up for work...cos the workload issued to me on tt day was pathetically meagre...i hafta get my ass busy w other depts...

had a sumptuous meal in bugis ytd...we were choked by fatigue n overwhelming o food...but most importantly...laughter...it's true tt 3 women makes a market...n we actualli had 4 ladies sitting round the table ytd...imagine the stares n glares we received from diners...we managed to finished all dishes thou...

but we had a good walk therafter...bought new clothes, ring and 3 undies...hah!...i dun wanna go out w them again...Hmph!!! it's so expensive....they r frens who persuade u to buy things...not to curb u from buying...tt's so unlike jacchow...

2006-10-05T19:18:00.000+08:00

Bad Services

Went to cafe cartel over the weekends with my friends for lunch. The experience we gathered was horrendous.

Initially, the staff crew was already taking our order without any eye contact, according to our observation, her product knowledge is so poor, that is the only reason why she had to mustered much courage to talk to us.

Worst still, they became nonchalant after we had foot for the bill. It seems like their level of service only stop when the customers had paid for their service rendered. It is indeed infuriating.

Fortunately our days were livened upon our shopping spree...Looking forwards to meet my gals.

2006-10-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

tattered nails, run down physique, perturbed slp, nonchalance...all tis cld b gathered on me for the past 10 days???

been too drained to update ever since i stepped into my yishun homeyland...mmm...new outlook...new life and of cos...new hassle...

hate the hassle o having to rem the fact tt i've moved out from hougang...impulsive to get off the train station whenever i m approaching amk...aha...hate it when i've to get accustomed to the new locks in my hse...hate it when the kitchen is so bloody small since everything gets so outta way...hate it when my room is bare...the tv my aunt claims she got it for me...is so lao pok...i cant seem to tune it...not tt i'm an IT-scrooge..it juZ simply dun work...hate it when i hafta dry my feet tip-top clean n dry after bath...since the damn floor is woody...hate everything...

but i do like it when everything juZ seem prim n proper...the hse doesnt look shabby like tt o my cousin's...everything's under command...i no longer need to heed pple's advice or opinion if i wanna proceed on sth...love it when i get to taste my mum homecooked food every single day...love it when i've a room o my own...

i'm contradictive...i KNOW...

landing myself in lotsa conundrum days back...hah...all cos o my dirty linen...oppsss....onli 4 pple in my life knows...not gonna wash my dirty linen in the public...i ought to b condemned for my sinful act...but ...i'm a blessed child...

shld i save 2 dollars a day til 29 apr???for my darX chowchow pressie??? tt silly gal asked me to keep the pressie budget at 20 buck....wat can i get from tt nitty sum...i'll do my way den!

messed-up tots i guess...my entry doesnt link...mind's onli swirling from the mountains n heaps o dusty and seamless stream o forms...hafta deal w it everyday in the office...but m glad at least i managed to appreciate some o my colleagues...found out tt they're kinda nice...at least not the eccentric front i saw them back 1 mth ago...

excruciating pain on my heels today...wore the damn new shoe i bought on monday...it is both a cutie pie n a chilli padi...my alr incurred blisters from the morning is burst with the same pair o shoe by evening...pains like hell when i applied the ointment...i m strong...i will b strong...i din let out a yelp...strong rite???? hehe...it'll get well soon...

resigning to bed...i m lethargic...

2006-09-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

fuming to the heights...my mum broke my gucci parfum...

2006-09-19T21:35:00.000+08:00

last fri, i had a wonderful time w chewhui n co., din managed to sing our lungs thru thou...but we had a helluva gd time in kbox...yellg our lungs out...one word to summarize the whole event...splendid!
went to catch little man thereafter cos we r realli clueless on our next prog...we're a bunch o wastrals, all o us snoozes while watchin, exp for an ardent fan o the movie, kiat boon..he juZ luff heartily thru the entire movie...managed to crawl home onli at 7 in the morn...we'll chill out again yeah??? but the last i heard..i tink it's tis fri we're stayg out...not the entire nite thou...they're a fun grp to hang out w...

saturday was a mind-throbbing day...i had a hard time manipulating myself to snug out o my cosy bed...off to help out in my new home...b4 long, after reachg my new place..i snooze again...lazybones're acting in...n i had a hearty meal in east coast lagoon in a few hrs time....

nottin happening since i worked...sorrie pple!
but there's hell lotsa bitch in my workpl...the vanessa bitch...she ordered me to look for some batch numbers as thou she's handicapped...she had a good luff w the colleagues when ying n me gotta slog like hell, rampaging into the dusty n abandoned boxes...when we're done w the may batches...n we cant seem to retrieve it...she told us, no no no...she commanded us look into the apr n jun boxes...wah lao...i was so pissed can...it's a fucking 15 more boxes to search can...the documents r counting by hundreds...HELL! but i realised tt anne is in fact a nice lady...she prolly needs more time to warm her earnest engine up, b4 accepting us??? hahz...nvm..the entire workpl is juZ as silent as a graveyard...

2006-09-08T08:25:00.000+08:00

bad alternative to spend our long-awaited for hols...working in CPF's draining...cos it's so idiot proof...sorting new forms, generating them and folding letters...perhaps the most challenging part o the work is to extract files...sounded complex? nah...it's juZ rampaging boxes from CISCO, finding files, photocopying them and direct them back to the same boxes...goodness...n i suffered tonnes o paper cuts can...not excruciating if it's onli 1 cuts...but several makes my skin twitched!

but working's got its reaps o rewards...gotta attached to a gal, from NP...she's a cheery one...i doubt we r humorous but she laughed non-stop whenever we speak or act...cutie pie...n she's got an adoring bf who'll pick her up from work everyday...sweeeeeeeeeetttt....

managed to brk the ice o chewhui n shufen further...was more den happy...happy w the progress n how readily n cordially they can accept me...supposed to go ktv w them tonight...but i'm having swirling heads...profuse apologies!

2006-08-24T23:47:00.001+08:00

zillion thX to my darlinX on my needy days...smoooochXxx...

went berserk the entire...searchg for jobs...1st stopover was at amk...when a nearly bald and naive guy presented himself to us...a 9-8 job...paying a mere 50 bucks...onli has himself to blame...cos his memory simply sucks, enquiring our details umpteen times, got no choice but to rebut him...tellg him i dun need 11 hrs to spend 50 bucks...and off we go for lunch...b4 preying on our 2nd stopover...

the agency we went was superb, not tt it's located in the old IPP place i was referred to, but the scenery ahead us during our wait was splendid, basically everyone's dream, residing in the top buildg, n basking selfishly in this ocean of ambitions...alluring captivation shld b the abbrieviated illustration. the person, winnie who interviewed us was splendid and earnest...the moment we stepped out, she scouted jobs and called me several times, asking if i'm inted in tis or tt...

i wonder if it's my good day, CPF board shortlisted me b4 i even go for an interview...i do not need to go for one thou..juZ need a trip down to sign my declaration and off i work next wed...kinda feel bad on the other hand cos winnie is trying so hard to scope for our respective jobs but...

was glad i went out w chewhui they all...i do feel a greater sense o belongings since i mentioned i was estrangled in the past...they're not as studious as i tot, hilarious perhaps...fun-loving grp...meeting them again tml for the CPF job...anticipating it thou...n i went for a hearty kboox session w them juZ ytd...boy were we nuts and cynical in the room...i guess the room appeared trembling to others in our oblivion...we enjoyed nonetheless, everyone had a good slp thereafter...

yawn....time to turn in...wakie up at 830 the nex morn...

2006-08-21T18:43:00.000+08:00

i guess my life shld b classified under the tumultuous stage now...bombarded by seamless exams...multitude o questionaires...tt requires extortionate effort...basically in matriculating formulas and notes n regurgitating at a blast...needless to say, i'm plagued w fatigue once again...

things will light up after these roller coaster rides in 2 more days...but i doubt i'll have a easy feat, in incorporating published financial statement...my most daunted module...i noe nottin abt prepg journal entries...it juZ doesnt make sense to me...i dun understand y i haf do millions o CJE and MI tt i've to remove frm the balance sheet ultimately...all these are seemingly the treacherous weapons, earnest in taking my perilous life...

-Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed- i'll brk the door o PFS to my FREEDOM...as of now...i'll start mugging...

2006-08-11T23:43:00.000+08:00

super duper pissed w a fucked up bitch...i wonder if she ever repent on or even ponder on the nefarious sin she has committed for her past few yrs or perhaps entire life...

she's a failure by nature...n prolly a sadist by heart.she love to scorn individual cos perhaps she cld not enjoy any love given by her family...let alone frens...she's born a loner...wat kinda remark is tt...wat does my fat ass gota do w her...not as if i'm using my ass to brush her like the car windscreen...i wish i could...brushing her off for being the vanquished... wat a moron...

she has aggravated my baby as well...for being pissed w her nonsense...for showing the incapability o being like a normal being...for being insensitive...n we felt sorrie for her for being pathetic...find something more meaningful..wil u? exam's coming...brush up on ur retardiness...

u're simply jealous o deborah's beauty and of cos my lovely bunny...go fuck ard w spider la...cos normal guys cant click ur pussy i guess...the plug juz dun fit...probably u cld associate w chicken...not for being a whore...but they have pea brain...sth similar to ur asset...i seriously wish u good luck...cos u cant wait for the pple ard u to b wiped out...besides u probably din realised tt ur sadistism has probably sucked any inherent good outta ya like maggots decomposing corpse...well...u're not diff from a walking corpse i guess...cos the similar trait in u is...u're cold-blooded...of cos we cant probed into ur world..u're juZ virtual to all o us...enjoy ur day!

2006-08-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

went for my job interview today...guess the existence o good news is bleak...i tink i perform well...but it's too well til it seems like it's preplanned...

it'll b the first encounter if i realli flunk my interview...felt moody...cos they hadnt confirm me...

the onli good news tml will prolly b goin out w chowchow...nottin much to blog actualli...not in the best mood

2006-08-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

woah....slpt a whopping....2 hrs nia on fri nite or sat morn??? talked to edmund til wee hrs...til 6+ dawn, 4 consecutive hrs o phone hogging...LA-SG...how much was tt? SHrugZ!!!

bored to tears in kbox on sat...the room was frigging bright...it's no diff w having ktv session back at home, the honey lemon drink was blend like air...the carpet was moist...they kept pestering us for extension o time...wat's the pt...we knew sth is up ur sleeve...u wanna rip us off more money when ur room's not reserved...we noe ur tricks...worst o all, the songs tt derek n his sis chose...alien to me...

had a bit o mahjong juz last nite...manage to quench my thirst finally...did a kinda great job...haha...

my life's stagnant...i need more frens...i need more love...i need more concerns....n i need to go out...was so freakg poor on sat...even resorted to borrowing 30 bucks frm derek...who ask some bugger borrowed 600+ frm me...n being too kind hearted...i obliged...damn...

nottin to post further...overwhelm by fatigue i guess....

2006-07-31T12:23:00.000+08:00

myriads o humanity and perturbed slp...wat's the linkage...bogged down by the ceaseless stream o projects n speeches to b delivered juZ tis morning...the feeling o standing still on the penalty stage is indeed excruciating...wat's worst when the penalty laid is menacing n crude...

my presentation's worth a hefty 45% outta the entire 40%...would have blown it if i flop it...so...it's a make or a break...was much in a dismay when tham passed a remark upon my disappointing presentation made decades ago...the one tt i dun enjoy the full 3 mins...the one tt was crushed by HG...but at least it doesnt make a diff utlimately since everyone hovered ard the same score...

joel was mercilessly kicked out of our grp by the 4s...mean as i can say, i tink they cld deal the matter better...cos i tink joel did pretty well in his prev presentation..shldnt deserve such treatment...bloodshed i guess...too bad i din turn up for their time o confrontation...nah...guess it's good for everyone...since i wasnt too cool w tt grp...will b ranting nonsense instead o rationales...

met chowchow up on thurs...was totally exhilarated the next day cos i poached the essence...haha yummy...tt gal is juZ enticing la...cldnt get enuff o her...the sight o her slpg...n cuddling me like a koala was just...woooohhh...breathtaking...her hair scent, hot bod n blah blah...turning lesbo isnt it...

well, it's her comforting words tt touched me, explanation for not being w me tt coaxed me...n her trashy jokes tt tickles me...like it when she says i can stay over her place like a fugitive running away from life "penalty" which is my dirty cousin of cos...n i liked it when she say she din have time for me due to work...at least she neglect everyone n me altogether....yeah yea...i'm a selfish bitch...but i m selfless for her k? n i love it when she told me her sch onli reopens on 14 aug...so it lves us some quality time...tt is if she contact me...nvm...i'll b proactive for once...shall dial up on her soon...

met yani again on sat...hehe...she's a sadist can...prompting me to strike on my purse all the time...yup...she got her worthy entertainment...bought sth from vichy...it's kinda good...as in the cleansers...n hell...the salesperson is nice...not cos she say my complexion is good...it's cos...she's ever so generous on giving us the samples...haha...n the serving's not small k? well...the new place i tink is fusion...near some cafe in the B1 lvl o suntec...gosh...their jap curry beef or chicken...is good...but it sucks too...y the contradictory...the meat they have inside is realli morsel...it's in bits...i can hardly taste meat can??? exasperating...not w the nitty 5 bucks i spent on it...but it's juZ not worth it...i pity my palates...went on roaming again...we seemed to be patrolling TIMES super often...guess i was mesmerized by the richness o the books...seems sensual n enticing for most o them...juZ captivated w the cover la...not superficial cos i read up the contents as well...quite enriching...spent my time kinda well on sat thou...althou it's window shopping for yani...but i still love her...she's juZ cute n yellow-minded la...it's her selling point...wonder if the guys r blind not to fall for her...well...i fell head over heels for her thou...

nottin much to mention abt my trip to my new place on sat as well, cos, those turtles r so slow in delivering the work...onli the kitchen floorings is completed after 2 wks o work...the floor...i tink it's quirkyy...nvm...tt's my mum's belonging...nv gonna bother abt it...

i've gradually turned to a naggy old hag...hha...got so much to rant abt...cya n stay tune

2006-07-18T00:32:00.000+08:00

a quick review for my absence in the blogsphere for the past 2 wks...had tonnes o tests...from IB to tis coming wed AIS...had my resume presentation...opps...forgot if i mention in my prev blog...erm...IB was a killer...haha cos everything was so factual...as in not extracting frm the book...but daily news...which i m oblivious abt...perhaps is the onli thing i cant smoke abt...hahaa..

AIS tis wk...frm the look o the book...it seems simple cos it's all plain memory work...but i've yet to read up the content...

had a tough fight w my IFT proj...tis noon...screwed up big time cos i wasnt the least prep...i deserve to b screwed but m feeling horrible cos no one did...i extend my apologies thru here again...

kinda well prep for tml's debate...hope it's an enlightening day ahead...hee beaming ear to ear now...cos m meeting my besties on wed...for the menacing yoga again...i nearly died can...so drained from last wk session...the actions seem simple but...nvm...i dun haf the stamina...wat can u expect frm a person who'd abstained frm sports for let's say 5 yrs...i mean streneous one la...easy one like strolling n shopping...i still can manage...

but the latter activity sounds good...haha...clubbing...i admit i m a greenhorn in clubs...i haven been to hot places like MOS n MOMO...n ZOUK...haha...sounds...so sua gu...but nonetheless...i gonna pop by at least 2 tis wed...gonna put on my new n nice shoe...orange n high high high up....COOL!!!

retiring for the nitez....snnoooozzzzeeeeeeee

2006-07-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

the stillness in my life shudders me all o a sudden...the harsh but yet peaceful moments clam my heart...i feel...a sudden outburst o boredom....cos i'm forever stuck in my shell...it's onli thru tis...i noe i had fallen deeply in love w u...i'm so lonely in this bustling city...w no embrace frm my beloved ones...i thrust my jaws to say i feel ur presence thou ur physique wasnt ard...i clench my clammy fist n insist tt i need u no more so as to allow ya to focus more on ur "endearing" prospect...i lose it all...i failed

well...forget abt all these rambling...hasnt been blogging cos my life is seriously full o life-less...there's nottin to crap...nottin to bitch...the same old thing like my cousin being unhygienic...by splashing all her chocolate fondue on her bag, paper bag and earpiece tt's moulded into choco ball...were left unattended the whole day...discovered onli the next...prolly was the most happening event tis wk...yup...

the saddest moment will be the exit o brazilian teams...even my bro wasnt behaving his usual nowadays...

the happiest moment was prolly ytd n on sat when i won mahjong ytd n 0 goals for england team due to my good foresight...

gambling luck was at its optimal stage but love life...gosh...plain like water...bland w coarse touch, hard to digest...will try raihah's recipe o adding pandan leave to the water while boiling it...heard it will reveal a refreshing aftertaste n it's good for our body...to prevent dunno wat bug tt bites ur legs...something like tt...

the worst turn in my life last wk was prolly i'd blown my published FS upside down...cant wait to c ivy lim yelling at me...

i need some1 to knock some sense into me...i tink i m juZ like any other gal...i need ur embrace...badly, truely n desperately...

2006-06-26T10:56:00.000+08:00

hols's nv enuff...juZ returned back to sch arms tis morn...lethargic is all i cld say abt my current status...the entire hols was swept by the world cup craze...i was not spared either...late nights all the way...perpetually turning morn to nite n vice verse...won quite a tidy bit...heh:)

my hols starts w an alarm...went out w sun on a drizzling sunday...tt was 2 wks back....god pissed cos she saunter into 20+ stores...trying out more den 20+ outfit...n mind u...i'm walkg along bugis st...hell hot...she's being irritating i guess...she can fit into all...yet complain it's not nice tis n tt...n she insist on trying out the same cut o the skirt when H-line cut obviously doesnt suit her...arghZ...din bother to lament her abt tis issue....but i shun myself at 6+ n escape to derek's plc for mahjong...life's unfair...won over 100+ again when i m bitching behind pple's back...hahaha

spent over 500 bucks for the entire hols...i tink it's all the cab spree tt drown me...bought not too much things...got myself a new pair o shoes frm novo...got a new necklace...new nail enamel shades...revamp all cosmetic...buhuhuhu....i still din get a new bag...got some new t-shirts...a new blouse...

my house finalli become mine on the 16jun...finalli...after 1yr+ long wait...nottin much to comment on for the past 2 wks...mahjong n soccer betting...haha...tt's juZ the mundane me...oh ya...went ya basking in the rain on tues w my poly class...mmm...not interesting...juZ a method to draw everyone closer i guess...but most turn up late...onli the pathetic few o us were there to help out...until mid noon...andrea was so boreod to the extent she spend the whole time applying make up n doodling w her hair...i was dipping in the lukewarm-semi clear n tranquil water for the past 2 hrs...FUN...i left home earli cos i hafta rush home for lovey-dovey session w ED_baby...hehe...notttin in particular happens...snap tt outta ur mind...

logging off...weary...

2006-05-30T12:53:00.000+08:00

hounded by the perpetual sch work load...i guess the common traits o nyp bloggers r blogging once a wk...i'm not spared from such catastrophe either...

had a wonderful wk last wk...not being mean but derek's hair-line cracked ankle was giving us the edge...cos his mc was extended by 2 wks...goodness gracious...we will nv haf enuff o MJ...lolx...

but alan said i was too quick in my games...resulting in derek's grandma's retardiness...tink she's too slow a player la...n she's kinda short...so we hafta shove her the tiles...juZ slow down all the pace...n i was maligned for being too swift...well...i'm mean...fine...

derek says he's not gonna play w us in the meantime...tink he's goin to eat his words soon...

went for yani's cousin's wedding on sun...was so pissed w her can...jesus christ...she dun even noe how they look like...n we ended up a standing mobile in the crowd of excitement n happiness...

n we were wondering y an irritating lookg person stared in our direction...she's got a cockroach feelers hair despite residing in her 20s...overheard tt she's 24...is it still in trend? n she will use her "she tink veri big" eyes to grope at u...it's juZ so grotseque...she makes it look like i wasnt cognizant o it...

but at the end o they day...she's yani's cousin...another close cousin o hers...well...yani says tt creature had assaulted her mentaliy since young...no pt stopping my malicious remarks on her...besides...showering her w my vulgar vocabs is a blessing to her...at least she's a topic in my blog...

overall...the tension is tight since i was estrangled in the alienated crowd...but the food was kinda good..guys...can try havin ur wedding day in grand corpthorne waterfront hotel...it's not a bad idea...it's juZ tt it can onli house the most 30 tables...pple w too many relatives...perish the thoughts....

had a streneous day ytd...doin up my business proposals...lest overspillg my language flairs now...wrote a total o 5 pages within 2 hrs....quite efficient i shld say...did i mention the stupid me for not doin my e-quiz? haha...i jUZ gave my token o 5% back to the lecturer....but i was wrong...my tribute was not reciprocated since i was given a 2nd chance...scored kinda badly...77% onli...as compared to andrea's n all...mine's onli a molehill outta mountain...

enuff o bitchg...i m juZ in a foul mood cos i cant articulate much...having sore throat...it's pernicious...hurting me so deep...at my jagular...gosh...

2006-05-22T10:39:00.000+08:00

draining wk for the past few days...had rounds o mahjong on both wed n thurs...win quite a bit...haha...i m so disgusting...scotfree for months, escaping w winnings instead o incurring losses...*beamZ*

went ktv w the crippled derek n his sis...my-oh-my, his sis voice is kinda good...harmonious tuning yet robust...get wat i mean??? she will juZ go on n on like there's no tml...n her stamina is real good...putting my singing to shame...

haha...so happy..finally saw my new-born nephew...he's so cute...slpg from the moment i stepped in til i lve...n trace o tears on him...n he gonna turn into a hunk i bet when he grows up...big eyes n tanned or reddish complexion...cutie pie...hehe...will b goin off to c him tis sat again..

out scouting for HOD and HOOD on sat, for my new home...a flop cos i was feel so queasy the whole time...bet i had upset my stomach b4 i stepped out...my shoes were also failing on me...cos the sole actualli came off...was so petrified when i was walking...so afraid tt i'll topple on some nails or glass particles...but i juZ cant b bother to look for new shoes...looks like my shopping craze is over...

was hectic ytd as well...went to our designer's office to select the material required for the home reno...

a couple o overbearing attempts...for instance, i got myself sassy colour (roast red) for my room...beaming w vibrance i guess...n my wardrobe will b an extreme contrast, white w streaks...it's more estatic n neat according to the designer...n my flooring is african black...woah...a veri loud combi...i tink my curtain gonna b silver...

went to view lightings thereafter...majestic view i guess...it's some place called LC lighting centre situated at balestier plaza...they've all variety...the area covers a span o probably the size o 3 5-room flat...so it's big...their lamps' price ranges are from over 10 bucks to probably a few thousands...a similar looking designed lamp from taiwan n italy r discrimated by the pricing...n the percentile is seriously far cry...taiwan's being 50+ bucks n the italian one...oveor 2000+

ate in hakka place after tt...the mei cai kou rou is kinda good...not the oversalty one i ate while i'm out...the food served there on the whole is a little blend...most suitable for healthconscious pple...do try it out...

2006-05-17T00:12:00.000+08:00

bad way o spending my day today...seriously aimless...but caught the episode..."save ur last dance for me"...it's a korean drama...tt consist o 20 episodes...not too draggy...

every scene was well elaborated...leaving no ambiguosity within audience...touching scenes are alwiz moving n tender...driving my aunts bananas...cos they sobbed like there's no tml...the plot is kinda tight...thus, it doesnt derive in a low momentum...

the casts r pretty well-groomed...acting skills r superb...i particularly love the sub theme "waiting for your love"...by soul system...it's great...ok...prolly tt's for me...at least i was swirled...it's kinda soothing n at the same time...lingers me to a sense o nostalgia...great hit if u're delivering it to ur beloved...

the ending is...ultimate...peak o the drama...it's kinda ends w a twist...lovely...breathtaking...no wonder korea peaks for their tourism in the recent yrs...

will sign off here...it's juZ another boring day...for me to ramble my two cent worth...

2006-05-15T18:14:00.000+08:00

oOOoppss...forgot to update on my wonderful time on sat night...

as i said...i took time off to go home early tt day...had a splendid time, it was all well spent...celebrated mother's day...n celebrated one o my aunt's bday...hehe...heartwarming scene of cos...

here's the cake...bought frm...no idea...it was cake in vongole i tink...kinda good...a slight pint of red wine...so it simply juZ melt in ur mouth...n the berries was juZ magical with the cake..mamamamia...

here's the ever 1st bouquet o flowers i've bought in my entire life...aha, the initial intention wasnt good...cos my cousin went to get it...afraid tt my mum will b placed in a bad limelight...i bought it...ya ya...forever so proud n full o pride w myself...but damn...my mum was beaming frm left to right...seems like the pride is placed in absolute place den...it was all worth it...n to further prove our sincerity...we were drenched in the rain k...it was raining cats n dogs...n we were too lazy to roam ard in the neighbourhood...thus...there we r, drenched like a soaked pig...haha...

a recap o today's lesson...AIS was boring...cos sharon lhu was making her answers in repetition...international finance lect was mundane as well...cos our best 3 musketeers were drooping away...to their lalaland...international biz was fine...lotsa crap came from shawn's grp...not too bad to work w the guys...

i will juZ sign off here...while reminscing the presence o chowchow...ahhaha...sounded so les...but baby...do come back quick k...i m urgent...urgent...realli urgent...to c u...muack!

2006-05-15T10:10:00.000+08:00

long n tedious wkend...working the whole time in sg expo...soothing yet lethargic...at least i managed to spend my time more fruitfully rather den complaining back at home how free was i...

met lotsa interesting pple, but the incentive tis time round is so much lesser...nonetheless, i managed to scrap pass 100 bucks per day...not too bad after all

was feeling so pissed w the leader on day 3...he fucking piss me off...ask him wat time is our lunch brk...he smack me str in my face saying..."depending on how much sales u wan lor"...ask him when's the time i shld go eat den..."he says go at off-peak lor..." ask him when's the offpeak...he replied.." hw wld i noe"...slap his face upside down la...ambiguousity...no wonder he flop his O level...a 17 yr old trying to act like n adult in front o us...insolence...

morever...there's no slightest streak o cuteness in him, tt blew us off..in fact, it's his ridiculous remark tt blow me up...n there's sth wrong w the way he walk n the way he portray himself...he walks like he sashaying, so effmininate...sounds like a gay...talks like an adult, n smell...dunno la...din bother smelling him...most prob like a poo

enuff o bitching...tok next time

2006-05-08T15:59:00.000+08:00

hey pple...happy day...sad day...

ytd was a happy day...outta w my baby chowchow...we met up 1 hr 45 mins later den the time we agreed to...cos chow's car failed her...so we hafta go public...

was astounded...a black frm UK approached me...tellg me he's on the same train as me...n ask for my number...i was aghasted thou...merely told him i need the loo n i scurried off...

next i saw him in the mrt control...freaked me out again...so i called my baby to contact me upon her arrival...phew

so glad to c my babe...haha...w her permed goldie hair...she said i look jap w my new look...i beg to differ...prolly ytd i was dressed too dainty *ahem*

went to pizza walker for pasta n pizza...mmm the curry chicken pizza is kinda cool...worth a try...the squid pasta i had was far too blend...so i pref the one in coffee club better... went kbox thereafter...sang til our lungs burst...n she actualli ate 6 flow o tidbits provided by them...damn...after which..we hafta rush to chow's home to get my oreo cheesecake...yummy...i love it...thou the surface looks like a cold hard thingy...but the thought tt she baked it juZ for me was overwhelming...but realli la...it's nice...so i shan't lve a single morsel for anyone..hah..

here r the pics...

chow chow tried to engrave my name on my cake...but according to her...it wasnt so successful...

here i m, meddling w andrea's baby specs...looked all geeky...depicting the beauty n the beast...ya...i noe...i sidetrack a little...

here's our blissful photo...in her cosy rosy home...wanted to snap it w the cake...w no avail...she had a photo o me w the cake...looked as if i m endorsed for promoting....

but i m so sad today...chowchow left for HK...hai...back onli in 10 days time...today's baby's bday...hope he like his pressie...mmm...happy hatched day darling...tok to him over msn during lesson today...made me so distracted haha...but it was all worth it...

feel so down in class...cos i feel kinda in a solitude...mmm...one thing i m proud to say...shawn n his cut-throat team ask me to join their grp for proj...HONOURed...i will strive for the best den...miss chow2...i miss her...n tink she miss me too!...muacks

2006-05-04T08:56:00.000+08:00

detached frm blogsphere for a couple o days...sch was fine...not fun...mundane in fact...same old business...shuffling btwn places for lesson...

a streak o awkwardness still strike me somehow when i saw my prev click...mmm...indescribable...

hehe...outta w mat n gaya3 today...so glad...anticipating for the morning classes to cast over...n fun will b on our way...might b meeting some guy for movie tonight...we shall c...

c u ltr

2006-04-29T09:25:00.000+08:00

here's the foto as promised...

chocolates i bought from BOURc...dunno wat...dunno how to spell...it's a kiosk in raffles exchange tt sells home made choc...

these r the cards i made for them....haha...they were touched of cos n claim tt they r apologetic for being impatient...hmph...my 11wks o grieve immediately subside...

this foamy heart-shaped latte...served in baker's inn...it's my colleagues...i took macademia steamer but wun haf such visual enjoyment cos it's all foamy white...but irregardless o tt...it's still fab..

SMoked Salmon Linguini...ordered by kylene...oopppss...same mistake here...i took the food after we eat it...*burpZ*...haha...it was kinda good...the servings r generous

my lame masterpc after savouring it...not bad...kinda thick...n the sphagetti is good...chewy

2006-04-28T14:29:00.000+08:00

had a hearty meal in baker's inn juZ now...it's in fullerton one...mmm...not bad i wld say...

the crayfish pasta i tried is kinda good...the stocks n tomato...woah...seriously loads...n their bloody mary soup which is actualli spicy tomatoes but they wanna make it sound more exotic or sophisticated...is not bad...it's thick enuff... mmm...mango moose is a muz try...sweet blender is kinda good but muZ share w frens cos it's quite rich in content...

the macademia steamer is good...latte looks lovely....will post the pics ltr one, together w my art pieces...

luff til i drop dead can...my fren kept insisting her jokes were funny...but my supp n all juZ claim tt she's lame...the atmosphere was splendid...got to c their different angles...so prolly my philosophy in life...not to gauge pple in a stagnant pt o view...time allows all processes to tk place...so judge pple longer b4 we lay our comments...

i stink to the core...cos i hafta rush to work...was juZ 15 mins earlier b4 the day start...rushing out cards together w the choco...luff too much til i feel heaty...but overall...all these sheds r worthwhile...love allianz pple loads...

2006-04-28T10:18:00.000+08:00

reflecting back these 11 wks...wasnt such a bad chore after all...colleagues r quiet but heartwarming...they're soft spoken but w sense..n they're willing to help thou at times they were realli hectic...

felt bad for not making the note board for them as my mum bought the wrong material...how to draw on sticky surfaces rite...

sense o reluctance conquer me...cos i simply cant bear to lve tis conducive envt...a place where i do my own gaming, blogging, calling...no interference...since i got a whole room to myself...din realise i hafta bid goodbye so soon...

the onli thing tt beam my day was...how they thank me for my small pressie...it was...i dunno how to describe...they said tt i was sweet n all...haha...so happy...but behind tis happiness means tt i gonna farewell them soon...so i was on moderate high n little low today...mixed emotions...

i feel so sorrie for bitching abt them in the past...i noe it was insolence...but hope they can sense my apology...

sch's starting soon w/o a holiday...n i tink we onli haf 14 wks for tis sem...which means 14 wks ltr will b our holiday...woots....hehe...i miss u pple!

2006-04-27T14:10:00.000+08:00

i suddenly feel tt i m so angelica...haha...so sweet n emotional...well today i was kept busier...packing lotsa historical items into the boxes for archiving...

bought my in-charge n colleagues some chocolates...n i gonna draw them some anime on the note board which i will purchase ltr...n theme it finance team...sweet o me...but dun steal my idea...spent 30 bucks in all...quite economical since i bought for 5 pple...but matilda is better...she spent 6 bucks for all pressies...i realli tk my hat off for her...geeezzz...

sch's reopening soon...n it spells tt i'm leaving this place which i term it as hellhole in day 1...cos it's boring, lifeless, emotionless...even the air's stifling...but i'm human...i still haf tt morsel o humane in me...gradualli i found out tt they're no brats...they treated me veri amiably tis few days...i m touched...wonder if i wil cry tml...haha...no la...

but i will cry if they eat my chocolate...cos it's such an art pc...will post the pic tonight cos i din bring USB...

taking a break from packing 6 big boxes o papers...got several paper cuts...(darling, u heard not? fly back n apply ailment for me la...idiot)...anime is damn hard to draw la...ingenious pple like me cant even do it...i doubt i will do a good job...but token is more impt...

well...will juZ stop here...my brain's drained frm all the coolie job i've done in the morn

saddeng

2006-04-26T09:33:00.000+08:00

was reading xiaxue's blog juZ now...yup...someone posted her abt the "kindoki"...it's basicalli witchcraft tt the colognase tinks tt it has the ability to make pple barren, deprive u off everything n destruct ur complete life...

all i cld say was atrocity n absurdity...y?
children "suspected" o suffering frm kindoki, in order to gain their parents or relatives' faith...they r willing to b subjected to brutal treatments...

treatments like rubbing chilli powder/pepper on the child's eyes, stomach...n worst o all....they got a 40+ sturdy looking man trampling on these vulnerable kids...

i dunno how haf the society changed, but changes shld b improving or upgrading...these lowly act somehow put me to shame...i m enjoying my life slacking in the office n yet i complained having nothing to do to pass my time, i m juZ throwing my tantrum...but children like them cant even choose to say no to such treatment, n ended up enduring it submissively...isn't it astounding??? on top o it, wat was made worst was tt, when a girl was suspected o contracting kindoki...she was placed over the fire, n according to them, if she scream, she is verified w kindoki...wat the fuck....life's such a bitch for them...who wun feel painful when we scald ourselves? let alone placing the whole body over the flames...

Xiaxue mentioned tt "Natural selection at work, Eekean. Dumb parents give birth to kids... Their kids die when abandoned. Stops the dumbness from being passed down.Imagine the willingly abused kid gets saved by you, and he grows up thinking he must also abuse his kid. How many generations of kids are you willing to save, and how much money must working, normal individuals give in taxes to save the dumb?Innocent as the kids are, that's the way the world functions. It's sad, but true.Because we can't all be clever."

i'm afraid i wld haf to oppose her words cos i tink it's too crude...be it highly intellectual or foolish, since wat done is done ie. giving birth to a new life, generate them into someone smarter...tis has nottin got to do w genes...children in sg with retard learning or intellectual are sent to special schools n all...at least they unleash their live in a different but steady path....y condemn such poor little things when they did not commit any crime...if giving tax is so hard o we able-bodied pple...wat abt these little things? they cant work...they r not adept in skills...wat can they feed on then...moreover, tax is onli a portion o our income...not the major amount...which means, we r juZ forgoing some o our luxury goods not the quality food n basic necessity...

However, i do agree w wat she says in the later part o her postings...tt the fittest will survive...however...y abandon the old woman??? we can still share wat...true tt it's cock since we mention it's enuff for 4 pple...but hey...u mentioned tt it's on an island...i'm sure there's available food n fruits as well...unless u wanna change ur word to desert...n u haf alr self contradict urself tt there's the strongest man...he shld hunt for the others...i guess it'll solve all problems...cos no one is infallible...we r still interdependent o each other...tt's wat we call the ecology cycle...

the world will b perfect if u and ur male classmates speech r placed in a puzzle...cos the picture will b so beautiful...strongest man hunt+sharing among everyone = no one starving...

well, juZ my two cents worth...tk it or lve it...

2006-04-26T08:53:00.000+08:00

back from ytd's mc...woke up damn earli...so it's as if i din rest as much as well...i took 45 mins to make my way in n outta polyclinic...tt's kinda fast...i noe i m a selfish bitch la...tt time when they pended my medicine til the last in the queue...i fuck them upside down...but tis time round...i was supposedly behind 6 pple...n my name's the 1st to b read out...hah...ya la ya la...i selfish la...

wanted to make a trip down to town...to get sth for chowchow...but m too lazy to do so.....cooked myself sirloin steak n seafood soup ytd....yummy....haha....love spending time at home...

anyw...it's not as bad as wat u tink...w/o him by my side...i feel better lor...cos he's alwiz the giving in party...whereas i m at the receiving end...thus, i owed him a million...but now he's away...at least i can pin for him n wait for his returns...it's my way o showing my love, motivation and gratitude for watever he's done for me for the past 1 yr...so i m suffering willingly...miss him a great deal, but...wat to do...i pref a rich guy w brain n qualification....not juZ wealth cos tt's plain superficial...

no need to ke lian me...juZ ampathize w me will do...he's returning in 1mth+ time anyw....times fly...2 yrs will b up soon...

*hOPe hONEy will c THe Postg...uRveZ ya lOTssaaa

2006-04-26T08:40:00.000+08:00

another particular blog dedicated to shawn liao again...

of cos u got teach me...but u also say til like u dun fit into the class by any tom dick n harry in the class ma...as if i dun communicate w u...i guess i do lor...since u din mention me...i dun wanna mention u too! i m v petty one...

i m not in the cut throat game la...if i m ....i willl study damn hard la...wun let pple overtake me one...i m so slack, cut wat throat...onli got pple cut my throat...moreover...chewhui they all r diligent...n they tk each other results humbly lor...when my results're so bad...they tell me not to b upset...so i m touched la...for u! haiya...u alwiz w ur hongguan click...wan 2 talk to u also hard lor...come join us la...thou i dun fit into the missing puzzle, at least there's company n most imptly,,,they study but dun challenge each other...tt's the beauty o tis grp...

2006-04-24T13:14:00.000+08:00

agreed w shawn tt we dun seem to fit into the class...but i guess onli he's in the cut-throat grp la...chew hui they r quite nice to me...andrea too...at least they bother to teach me things i ask...unlike pple who're more self-centred...perhaps it's time to propell to us...

i kinda miss sch...but upon tinkg o seeing those 4 pple n badri...my mind aches badly...

alan asked me ytd,,,"how come u dun sound like a student..."

i replied:" cos i seem v free is it"

he said:" no la...juZ tt u nv complain abt proj n tutorials b4 wat"

i juZ told him:"wat's there to complain, it's our duty wat...everyone's complaining abt sch work sch work...not sian meh... ..."

looks like i'm so detached from nyp as well...even my external frens noticed i hardly tok abt sch...cos there's nottin to talk abt la...

i wun haf the privilege to enjoy the bliss o one whole big grp o IPP frens like shawn since i'm attached w 1 other gal in my current attachment stay...how sad...consider urself lucky...1 more yr to go n we r off NYP...

2006-04-24T10:39:00.000+08:00

7 deadly sins i've committed during the weekends...

disgusting...i noe it's disgusting to admit i haven been losing money on the mahjong table since last yr aug til now...my total losing counter onli strive up to 3 when i had played more den 50 times during tis period...how disgusting...was resolute by tellg my fren to boycott me next time...dun feel my existence...dun ask me along for games...guilty feet yea...sorrie peeps...

fallg heads over heels...i noe i said b4 i wun feel the same for another guy...but hah...i tink i m more definite o wat i wan as compared to the past...i miss him n ponder abt him...anticipating abt his returns but m nv generous in tellg him how much i love him...

adding extra pounds to the weighing machine...man...i haf been binging mad...tink he cant recognise me when he touch down...

broke my promise...was supposed to acc my mum all the way ytd for viewing o lightings since i'm moving place soon...but was swayed by my fren's last min mahjong session...sorrie mum...heh

cynical...i hate to b a racist la...i hate to bitch...but den all the foreign blacks rite...i do not understand y they cant b a little more considerate or understanding...they seem to love to flash their armpit n air it in the mid air in the train...i simply dun get it...the "aroma" seem to cling on them whenever i c their presence...sorrie la...i tink i will b hated for making such scorns...but i bet there're pple who're my follower to tis statement...

refuse to give my bro's cash...no choice...cos my mum forbidded cos she said i spoilt my bro to the max...

dogs frenzy...i love dogs n i wan to keep dogs...but my mum forbid me to...but i keep hallucinating them...i love them...saw a japanese spitZ tt's damn ****ing cute in kim keat ytd..omg la...even my mum claims tt it's cute....awwww....it stole my heart away... tis is the japanese spitz...i found online one...cos it's no nice to tk pics in the shop...paiseh...

if i m not wrong...tis is the 2 wks born jack russell or miniature schnauzer( dunno how to spell)

n tis is 1 month old

n a proud tze shih...

they're such a darling...cutie pie...i will marry whoever who bought me...

2006-04-21T09:37:00.000+08:00

i tink among all my frens...jiamin has got the most easily contented perception abt her future life...she do not wan any fancy life, juZ someone to love to settle down...she dun ask for a sky high pay, juZ some sustainable pay n rank will do the job...n she juZ wan a family car but din specify its brands n models shows tt she's down-to-earth n she dun give a damn o prestige...

i wld wan more den these...i dun wanna haf family car...cos my spouse if i haf, will haf individual car...for convenience purpose i guess...cos it's frustrating to be waiting for transport when u need it urgently...i wan to haf more den 2 kids if allowed...i wanna haf a fat pay...pref more den 10k a month will make me a contented lady...i wan to b someone who'll b issued the "millionaires" magazine cos tt's onli 0.1% o the rich population who'll receive it...n like the theme suggest, it basicalli means we haf at least 1million spare cash w us...so 10k job will onli lead a comfy life not sth spectacular...

asking for too much? looking at my mum, i guess not...she's given all her life time savings to the basterd ex-husband o hers...he'll pounce on every opportunity to drain her dry...how unscrupulous...he's abusin the fact tt my mum still harbour hopes on him...how retarded...

so...i sought to b someone great, someone who's ideas will b enacted in some mncs..someone who has a foothold in the financing sector...someone who carry weights in her speech...someone who's respected by all subordinates...someone who perform miracle outta ruins...someone who can inculcate the right morals on the younger generations...

such great ambitions...but i will achieve it...cos my frens n i were talking abt buying some suburb areas in aust to settle our last few yrs o our life there...breeding dogs or growing some veg...tranquility, isnt it...lookin forward for tt...

looking forward for world tour...travelling to different region within 1 yr...which means...i m jobless for 1 yr...in order to sustain such luxury...i haf to earn lots...so...the above i haf mentioned applied to my scenario...

2006-04-20T10:57:00.000+08:00

in the name of our father and the holy spirit amen...i presume the existence o homos will eek the abhorrence outta christants n even normal beings...

was kinda against them b4 i read the blog...but the sight o 2 pretty boys snapping pictures din look too queer after all...in fact...it falls into a scenic picture...unexpectably ordinary...

it's undoubtedly disgusting when they r whimpering their lovey dovey words for each other...but at least in our context, we do so for our opposite attracts...at the end o the day, the earth is round, everything returns back to the square...wat they're merely goin thru is love...juZ tt most pple perceive it as some immoral affections...nonetheless i beg to differ...

i had once asked my fren or even my ex gf (those days were juZ inquisitive abt how lesbianism feels on me) "y will u all fall for a gal"...their answers r short n sweet n hit the point..."becos gals understand each other better...guys will onli further aggravate our wounded sores.." nice score there...i agree...

it's a norm to c gals holding hands in today era...perhaps we shld change our ever traditional idea or perspective on these pretty boys...they're all out to find love n warmth to secure their soul...same goes out to the str8 couples...

by the way...the site is www.colinandkero.blogspot.com

kero is cuter den colin...but colin juZ look like a normal guy to me...seriosuly...there isnt any special traits abt them tt evolve their sexuality...no fret...at least i hold my respect for them to b brave enough to stand out among the crowd n pledge their extraordinary n undying love...

2006-04-19T09:27:00.000+08:00

read someone's blog again juz now...mmm...sympathize her or ampathizing w her??? *shrugZ*

she said tt her ex broke the promise given to her a yr ago...yup...n tt he's got someone new beside him rite now...so all the sweet nothings given to her last yr vanished into thin yr...n she's grieving over tis...n he seldom call her durin their being-together...but kept prompting tt he gotta call his current gal soon...

at the end o the day...relationships end tis way...i experienced it as well...perhaps well...given the fact tt he onli call me once a wk w less den 4 msgs...i still fall head over heels w him...given the idea tt he's a pauper...i hopelessly n gullibly followed him, giving him financial aids...given the knowledge tt he's trash-inclined w no single morsel o brains but brawns, i still love him...not tt i'm scrutinizing him onli after we broke...i knew it from the start but willingly plunge in...ya..how stupid...tt's y pple call tis love...

when he needs it..u're supposed to b at his beck n call...when he's occupied dunno for wat reason cos i dun c a pt y he can b more hectic den me...he dun even give a glimpse o his whereabts...when he spent a night over ur place...he left scurrily the next day...goin home or goin other homes??? i've no idea...

so in conclusion...find someone u dun love but reciprocates ur slightest kindness...n tt is if u noe urself well...pple like me will remain focused on juZ 1 relationship will not give up a person who loves me so much to a person i love eventualli...cos...there's a saying goes...love the one tt hurts u, dun hurt the one tt u love...plain stupidity...tt's wat i will call self-inflicted pain...cos i've experience all...no pt stayg beside ur loved ones when they're slaying u...stay w the one tt has the intention n ability to pamper u...sounds crude but it's realistic...

chances are...tis blogger will not chance upon my blog...even if u saw it...be it...it's meant for u anyw...

2006-04-18T16:51:00.000+08:00

eEewww,,,my whole body stink from the lunch...not w my packet food..but joined mimi for lunch thereafter my packed food....deb was telling me how nice CK euphoria smells...n when i said i wanna try buying...she stopped me in my face sayg no, cos she dun wanna me b a copycat...idiot her...entice me n make me drool but dun let me possess the item

at least today has more work compared to the past 2 wks...i feel more exhilarated n fulfilling of cos...

hair's gettin longer n i gonna snip it off thou everyone was amazed tt i shorten til tt length...goin for hair dyeing w deb next sun...hopefully i wun b drench in copper again...cos i'm tired o the colour which seems to suit me to a T...

i miss andrea n company, i miss chowchow...i miss edmund...i miss everyone...

2006-04-18T09:03:00.000+08:00

tis portion o posting is dedicated to shawn...

1stly: she's not attached, juZ met up w her last wk, so for that...i m certain...had helped ya ask alr

2ndly...y r u considered a fool??? a person will onli b considered a fool is when he flop in sticky situation n assume he takes it well...tis is basically making a fool outta himself...tt's wat we called a fool...wat u merely got into now is confusion, nottin to do w being foolish, basically it's onli termed as perplexity...

3rdly...3.5 for GPA rite...i tink u can get into SMU alr...juZ tt their sch fees a little more steep compared to the traditional 2 local uni...moreover...SMU enjoys more prestige...n once u're enlisted for their interview rite...grab the chance to vocalise n i'm sure there's no prob gettin ya in..cos my mum's colleagues i've found out...onli got 3.2 for GPA

lastly, voice out when u r perturbed...frens can also unlock ur door wat....no neccessay her...no one will die on another...no one's fallible cos o another individuals...it's juZ a matter o how u portray the upcoming obstacles n where ur prerogative lies...u're a sweet person...at least meticulous rite? so...stay positive...if u tink dumping ur 1st for the 2nd is a mistake??? learn it den...it's growing phase...moreover...i 'm sure u haf ya reason for doin tt in the past...dun dwell on it...u shld live w it...humans rely on instincts for all situations k...dun i'm sure u din do it outta impulse tt time...anyw...if u take it badly...it's called karma...but if u tk it optimistically like wat i often do, it's a lesson...yups...tt's all for u!

2006-04-13T13:50:00.000+08:00

read a few intriguing stories for the past 5 hrs...entangling love, nonchalence surface but passionate interior...melting words...

"If I have a million dollars, I would buy a house. Do I have a million?""No. That's why I don't have a house.""If I have wings, I can fly. Do I have wings?""No. So I can never fly.""If all the waters are drawn out of Pacific Ocean, but it still can't put off the flame of love between us. Can all the waters of Pacific Ocean be drawn off?""No. That’s why I don't love you."

was fantastically weaved into

If I have one more day to live, I want to be your girlfriend. Do I have one more day? No. Too bad. I can't be your girlfriend... not in this life.If I have wings, I want to fly down from the paradise just to see you. Do I have wings? No. Sadly. I can never see you again.If all the water are drawn out of the bath-tub, but it still can't put off the flame of love btw us. Can all the water in a bath-tub be drawn off? Can.
So yes. I LOVE YOU.

be it fictitious or not, it's sometime i'll sit n ponder...if such L exists...tis is abt a tale whom a guy got connected to a gal thru internet...they xchanged lotsa emails n stuff...n finalli advancing to chats...n ulitmately meetups...everything's taking a natural form...until the gal suddenly left him a note...saying bye forever...the 1st verse i placed juZ now was told by the guy to the gal b4 he falls in a relationship...whereas the latter was spoken to the guy when she left...how sweet n embracing

many cld survive the distant relationship n obstacles whereas us, the fortunate ones r stranded in arguments tt r so minute...so insignificant except we turn to blow them up from a molehill...perhaps we shld tink further b4 putting the word "break" in our all-time conversation...it's not a good word to end everything since we started from scratch sweet...

nonetheless, was sprouting my worthless two cents worth...had too much time to loiter ard the internet...read many stories from short stories to online novels to millions o smal auctions...listening to ah-mei's songs....nice n ...somehow my hair stood...yup...

kylene's not at work again...this is her 4th mc for this month...hope she gets well soon...n i feel proud o myself today..i ate alone in the office, 1st time ever...eating alone sucks...the haunt of loneliness n vulnerability juZ ransack me..i had to pretend browsing thru the web but no content got into my head...y m i so pretentious to my dear self...no idea ~shrugZ`

meeting up w mum for some home reno thingy in expo ltr...excited!!! rather not the exhibtion but the thought tt i can stay home n slack keeps me awake...since ed's not in town...no point goin out...u will realli onli learn to cherish when the being's not by ur physical side...anguished when u need someone to hug in the middle o the nite but realised he's at the opp side o the earth...happy w ur surroundings but no one intimate enuff to share w...n lastly, oblivious to anyone cept the ghost o U & ME...

~counting down for the day u're back, my love~

Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...Time is Eternity.

down to reading some trading materials...will blog soon...probably upload pics for the home reno exhibition...

2006-04-12T14:18:00.000+08:00

had a hefty dinner w anna, Mat n cheehou...in ichiban sushi juZ ytd...veri brief meetup w congested content...exchanged mucha working life n office politics...everyone was too tired, thus we rounded our day w gelato ice-cream

damn allianz...make my skin so dry n my pores exploding...i got tiny breakouts on my forehead can...w 6 microscopic pimples...tis's the worst phenomenem...cos small ones r damn hard to deal w...n when a person is dull..it's impossible to look good in make-ups..not a single radiant streak in me...

talkg abt shopping...i can cry...cos i almost emptied my allowance...but at least i'm at a better edge cos mimi finished her...n best...her dad's allowance for her as well...bless u gal

jiamin sounded real...i wun say is sad...perhaps moody w the mix of nonchalence is the word...c'mon there's no such things as wednesday blues...so...cheer up...everyone is born imperfect...but a perfect life is carved out by individuals...depending on ur prerogative n choices...at least u haf a pick in making choices rite??? ain't tt bad...

juZ got myself a balenciaga bronze bag...at least i feel a little better w retail therapy...

2006-04-11T17:01:00.000+08:00

juZ tune in to LA line a couple o mins ago...my guy had turned in to bed...its a wee 2am for them over there...

i miss him...keep questioning him abt his sch n all...n he insisted on coming back to sg given the one wk break...kept lamenting tt he's nuts but of cos deep down i feel sweet inside...miss the way he brush my hair, miss the one time he told me "so wat if ur hair is screwed, it can grow back" last yr in july, miss the way he ranted pple who sinned me for the intention o protecting me...miss his culinary skills thou its way below my mum and anyone i cld tink o...

i miss u bunny...but 2 yrs will sweep by n we can b lingering o each other again...stay positive...

to my guy:

-dun say sorrie to me when we both noe tt i'm throwing my tantrum randomly cos it'll make me weep at the end o the day
-dun say sorrie when u're not the culprit who made me cry deep at nite
-dun feel sorrie when my days seemed not rite...cos i will fall deeper w u
-dun feel aggravated when i dun feel a pinch on others' comment since urs matter the most
-dun feel claustrophobic tt i dun feel the same for u when in fact it's accumulating w each passing day
-well...dun come back too often cos i will pin for more n i might not let u go back...i'm controlling now cos i wan to c the future in us...i love u bunny...niteZ

2006-04-11T14:48:00.000+08:00

had lunch w cheehou the v last min...cos amanda gotta rush work for her supp...met milah after which...had a full lunch...n here i m rottin in the off again...wat's new...

amanda was asking me to blog some fashion thingy...to offer my two cents worth to her...but i m not up to the task...i m so bad in finding stuff online...sorrie babe...will compensate when we r shopping outside...

mat was suggesting me to sms her when i m bored in the off...but tis beloved o mine took millions o yrs to reply...i;ve read millions o novels to the extent i m so well-learnt...i blog everyday til i ran out o tots thou i noe i'm good w words n articulated...i;ve been playing game...i've been msng n gmailing(since ytd)...i've done so much online shopping on yahoo auction til i drop dead...

wah...wat else shld i do man...time's corroding me
when's sch startg...

2006-04-11T08:42:00.000+08:00

kylene's on mc again...yup...she left me stranded in damn allianz for consecutively 2 days...but m in the tiptop mood today...cos meetg anna mat n cheehou ltr...for our 2nd rd o catch up

haha..touched tt jiamin actualli popped by my blog to read my mundane illustration, my un-called for trashy tots...i agree totally tt we r all selfish...so tt's juZ to say both pple who r utterly selfish but w the same frenquency n chemistry can bog together...er...m i right??? well...duno wat i'm talkg abt...too chirpy...wonder if amanda will b free to eat w me ltr...

hai....i wanna eat ajisen for lunch!!! n marche today....jia lat...gonna b bloated further...oh yeah...i love my timetable tis time rd...fri's off for me...mon's ending at 5 with onli one pathetic hr o breaktime when the day breaks as earli as 8....n tue will end at 6...but at least the day starts at 12...no more nonsense...cos the lecturer tis sem r fucking smart...they play all lect in btwn...no one can miss any n the tut r at the end o the day...exp for thurs...geez...so i will lve home at 2 on thurs when i onli haf to attend a lesson at 1...how dumb...den the last lect...forget it...cos it's some report writing...guess i can pass it within a glimpse...ooopppsss....so haughty...but i tink everyone can do it...agreee???

so i tink i will settle myself down for a fri n sat job...den sun i will tk a deep breath n slp all i can...i miss andrea, chewchew, shufen, pingping laopo, xinxin, boon hehe...i also miss edmund...my ever loving baby...i miss not the sch but the pple la...cya!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-10T09:11:00.000+08:00

dragging my dilated sou to the office again....sat n sun're alwiz tireless...but mon simply sucks...

went for ancestral prayer on sat...miss my grandma so...been 8 yrs since she left me...i rem i was brought up by her since i was borned...she's a woman who dun follow her words...cos she loves to chide me...n i will shun behind my cousin...of cos my poor coussie hafta tk the caning on my behalf...notti me...

she dotes on me alone since young...she will alwiz piggyback me to the market...afraid i will slip on the muddy floor...she attends to my needs unconditionally...n she weave me clothings for me to tuck in...

everyone says she's a good cook...her mutton soup is fab thou i've nv tasted b4...she would cook me the simplest fare to give me a balanced diet...she loves to look good....she wil spend 30 mins juZ to bath n 15 mins to do up her hair...n she craddle me to slp every nite...

unfortunately she was down with alzheimer when i was 10...perhaps it's a blessing in disguise...cos from den on...she stayed w me as she stayed w my aunt in the past...living w her is a wonderful experience...reminscing...reminscing...reminscing...

2006-04-06T15:24:00.000+08:00

being together w the person u love most of cos is a happy occasion...but how do we noe if the person love us the most??? forever??? at tt particular moment or instanteously??? or even vaguely- which refers to sometimes it's there n sometimes it's not...

read jiamin blog juZ now...true...we r selfish...but i beg to differ...

who proclaims u will b the happiest when u r w the person u love...it is true tt the person who makes u cry is the person who can solve ur grievances...but...he might not b the best person to make u smile...being together w the person u love most is wat everyone yearn for...but in reality..we tend to settle for the second best...we r selfish...becos we wan to seek for the person who love us more...n at the end o the day...we wld not b sore...

if knowing tis person wld upset me...aggravate me further...i will choose to stick to someone whom i dun love instead o goin back to him...y? cos i wan to b happy...

i rem when i was at the young age o 14...my cousin once referred n incident abt her fren...she was pregnant when she's 14...n she married the guy at 19 tt time....after 7 yrs...when my cousin saw her down the streets...she is still chirpy as ever...affectionate n all w her husband...such fairytale r realli a rare sight..it's one in a million

on the contrary...i haf heard more cases o bitches n jerks...for instance...there was a happy couple walking down their 10 yrs o relationship...juZ b4 mths when they r abt to walk down the aisle...tt guy fell for another...so, wat does it show??? tt person has been selfishly hiding his feeling tt in actual fact, he doesnt love her so in the past??? no...it's wrong...in fact...his love wavered n changed... we r not looking at a point o time...we r looking at the continual flow...as much as i tink i m mean...i still tink it's not his err...cos at least he chose to back out knowing he dun love her anymore

however,for me, i will will stick to the person i chose...loving him or not is seriously not the issue...the issue is...wld i b falling into the abyss... ultimately...i m usualli the dominant one... i adore victory...well...i m selfish in a way...but at least...i will preserve all-myself and my chosen one...n...i m not fickled...well..i m actualli fickled...but once my eyes have set on one...n he has reciprocated...he's destined to b mine...unless he chose to lve...crap...anyone understand such ambiguous blog???

2006-04-06T14:11:00.000+08:00

it's gonna b another late nite...yawn...goin kbox w mimi n nam...hahZ...been a long time since i flair my voice...ah-hem...

well...mimi was suggesting tt on good fri we'll go suntanning in sentosa...but i got too much lard to flaunt...haha...dun tink i'll give it a miss...cos i will b rottin at home anyw..

miss st nicks food suddenly...queues n piping hot foods will proliferate my mind vividly at the tot o it...been a long time since i went on a shoppg spree...but dun tink that pathetic pay can bring me far...food alone alr cost a bomb

anna juZ rejected me for sentosa trip...but at least i will b seeing my dear bunnies on tues...

birkens...papillio

2006-04-06T11:17:00.000+08:00

i'm in a conundrum

HELP!!!

which one to get???

MALIGNED

2006-04-05T08:04:00.000+08:00

i tink my female in-charge (ann) has got some problem...she is suffering from sensitivity disorder...she kept asking me to do some amendments for the pasting o receipts on a fresh pc o paper...

i did...n i followed suit...following the eg she had given me...n i realised tt i cld actualli paste the receipts on printed pages cos the example tells me so...in 4 mins after i submitted my work...she came into my room...n she narrowed her eyes, shrug her eyebrow n ask me how could i do tt...pasting receipts on fresh pc o paper is essential becos one fine day they might need to photocopy it...n she ask me to remove those paper tt r alr stuck fast w glue by tearing them out one by one...

after which...she came in again...asking me how could i stick all the receipt together...goodness...she's teaching me how to waste paper....since the receipt is reinburse by the same person...wat's wrong...it's juZ cos o her precision n meticulous nature tt topple her job...cos she is SLOW...

but tis is not the gist o my postings...she actualli said tt i rolled my eyeball when she ask me to do amendments...she din tell me str...i heard frm my LO...i tink it's cos she tink her requirement for me is too harsh to the extent subconsciously she tot i rolled my eyes or stared at her...tt's not being too realistic...i m hypocritical by nature...wld i even let u haf a chance to snap at me for being ungracious within ur sight? NV!...

my overall mood ytd was dampened definitely...n the LO, being redundant again kept assuring me....no...it's reassuring...telling me there r positive comments abt me...she actualli said it 6 times...looks like she's poor in expressing her words...

i told her i was kinda disheartened...n nonetheless, my mum is cool w me gettin any marks...so i m not so pressurised...n the LO said tt she is disappointed in wat i say...saying i shld give my best still...when i haf doubts in the grades, i will tend to reserve my best....however, i beg to differ...cos i m petrified tt i haf to redo my assignment, thus i will prove my best...perhaps she's reading too much btwn the lines...

i told her i m a veri hypo person...i noe how to deal w pple...no matter how much i detest them...i will still put on a smile...be it fake or real...b my guest... she seems to b taken aback...but ain't it true...if i dun perform such treacherous act...will i b able to survive??? nah...undoubtedly the harsh truth... i told her i haf overcome lots these few mths or one yr...so i will noe how to handle...i tink she has given up hope on me...nearly cried ytd cos the feeling o being maligned simply suck! nevertheless...i will strive for the best still...to complete my last lap...

2006-04-04T08:29:00.000+08:00

Restg is meant to tk a longer route in our life journey??? no...i doubted...din went for work ytd...was home slpg from 12+ at night til 10+ in the morn...n frm 2+ noon all the way til 6:30...goodness, i slpt more den half a day away...but my tension headache din get anywhere better...it juZ got me more drowsy when i took the medication...

had loads of fun on fri nite...resume to my usual haunt-nam's place for mahjong...went directly for ancestral prayers on sat morn after my sumptuous meal w derek n alan...was a lil' upset when derek says he wun like her mahjong frens...cos when we r playg mahjong...it's kinda hard to nurture feelings tt way...n he kept sayg he's ugli n fat...so nobody will wan him...i m dejected...but a smart person like him will definitely gather wat milah n nam're trying to say when they prompted so hard on fri nite...goodness...my pride is swept!

looking forward to clear my acc money tis sat...gonna go for a shopping spree..bought a pants but no top to go w...goin to hunt for it...my supervisor is gettin nicer i tink...i mean his attitude la...at least dun haf the birdie style when i 1st step in...

2006-03-31T17:23:00.000+08:00

counting down to the last 9 mins o the day...b4 weekends arrive...

m heading to nam's place for MJ...i tink my craving for MJ has died...no longer so yearning for it...nor itchg for it...guesss it's time to seek for new passion...

milah n nam is finalli fine...they recounciled thus my fone did not ring for emergency sake...glad tt everyone is doin well...persevere pple...4 more wks to go n we'll gradutate for IPP...cheers

cheong says she wanna come down n talk to us...liar...knew she cant make it...wat kinda LO is tt...everyone has seen their LO except for me n Wei2...

n Wei was mentioning tt i haf the power o making food looks great when i m devouring it...true??? i dunno...all i noe is she dip her spoon in my food again...be it a coax or wat...who ask her to b my fren...

5 more mins to go...n i'm off a 2 days release b4 i m back on mon for my prolonged 5 days imprisonment...muacks!

2006-03-28T11:24:00.000+08:00

i love singapore...sounds patriotic??? hmph...i realli do...thank sg for the endless shelters to stay out o downpours, thank sg for the quick response to ever-changing situation--H5N1, SARs n all...thank sg for cultivating a strong arm force to see us thru the turbulent period...thank sg for the bi-lateral relations w tonnes o countries...thank sg for stayg neutral so we wun b bomb like the US...

thank sg for the advance transports, thank sg for the small n cosy environment but vast horizon...thank sg for the upgrading o residential place, thanks sg for the mending o roads n pavements, thank sg for being far-sighted...

thank sg for creating a home for me...

i m bored....jailed in the office w seriously no work to do...i haf even filed a pc o paper for today's attachment...i dun feel good, in fact, i feel like a trash...i seem like a parasite...waiting for the day to come to claim my pay...i seem like a wastrel, dunking extravagantly in the company's property...i m a annoyance to myself...cos i cant read mag in peace, cant listen to mp3 in peace since i dun wish to hear much complaints...

i learn to appreciate the times in sch...the time at my promoter workplace...the time i spent in sec schs...those were the days...i still rem gals r caught for climbing trees, screwed up big time by Lo Li Eng... dyed hair every start o semestral...skipping classes, skipping PE cos it's all the boring jogs...missing the dumplings n chicken wings o st nicks...popularity n stares i gotten...i haf so much more frens back den...whereas i tink i m more o an introvert now...things changed n pple change...i love to stay home more den ever...i was seriously pondering if it's possible to return to the time when i was 14 ytd...i duno wat struck me but yeah...it juZ strike me...i wanna b young...wanna b the once rebellious child-demanding for adult's attention...i was so cocky n haughty...nv say die attitude is definitely the best word to describe my past...my poor mum hafta condone me once n forever...but guess she's the happiest person on earth...the gal tt she tot will nv change has turn into someone whom she kept prompting her every weekend" y u stayg home again on sat"... ya...i m so tired...the zest i once possessed in my sec sch days were gone...

i miss my college days as well...din noe as much pple as i do from st nicks...but my class is fun cos we skipped classes to play cards in our class...it's secluded n air-conditioned...cool! was critc for my lack o proficiency in mandarin...praised for my command o english...but i flopped for other A level sub...wat n irony... those were the carefree days as well...if i cld turn back time...i will study harder n attend sch more often...lest wasting n additional o 2 yrs in poly...

yea...i chose my own path..i hafta tk the responsibility...i miss uniform schs...miss their laughters and conversations...cos it's so uniquely diff from poly life...let alone workplace...

tired from typing...time for lunch pretty soon...time's realli crawling...i guess i will report sick on fri...no second thoughts...

2006-03-27T08:40:00.000+08:00

stayed home for the 2 weekends...watched a hongkong series...v old one entitled xiao kan feng yun...yeah i muZ b mad...but it's well written n comprises o human relations n overcoming unforeseen circumstances w wits...it's abt economic and how unscrupulous can greed carve a person to be...

still contemplating if i gonna go on mc tis fri...yup...since i din tk it for 3 wks alr...great job! had a hard time waking up today...cos it's raining...but the air in my room is still stiffling...looks like i hafta spend my weekends goin out...cos after 2 long days o rest...i m so lazy...

i hafta work doubly hard after my att...cos i hafta earn at least 3k for my room...mmm...wat shld i go for...zen or contemporary...no idea...

edmund's been gone for so long...pinning for him to b back

2006-03-23T10:51:00.000+08:00

as i had nottin better to tink abt in my office...i start reminscing my past...

i used to b a complex person...i rem when i was 13, i was a rebel back den, eager to get outta my hse...cos i'm alwiz left alone since both parent gotta work, bro's in afternoon shift and all i haf r four walls n my maid...i would rummage every single corner which i call home...so, i wrung open the door n home onli at the wee hrs...

had numerous bfs when i was young...as much as i wanna someone stable, i'm fickled cos my eyes will lift upon seeing someone better...profound rite??? yea....i dun do wat i preach...sec 3 was actualli my worst yr...picked up fight...landg myself in hosp...life sucks there cos food was blend...but at least i noe my mum care...had a v nice guy back den...i noe i was foolish, i noe i was sceptica abt pple n i noe i m a sinner...he's alwiz sweet, from mumbling sweet-nothings to showering me w care n concern...i rem when we did not noe each other too well...probably less den 5or 6 days o knowing each other, he actualli lend me 100 bucks, no intention to get it back...i sound like a money face...but back den...i was touched cos i was under probation n all i was gettin per wk was shedded from a steep 600 to a mere 20...goodness...was caged in hell immediately...imagine how i pass my days for 6 mths...he relived me...thou tt time when i knew him was almost end o the torments...

i rem the white porcelain dove he gave me...he had a similar one too...hanging on our lamps...those were the sweet times, tokkin over the fone for over 3 hrs everyday...everyday!!! but sometime was hindered by my mum...sad...but he understands...i would b so lethargic by the time i wait for my mum to turn in b4 i can sneak tokkin over the fone...but my sweetpie din mind...he was by the fone for 3 hrs even after i dozed off while tokking to him...he sang lullaby and all...was pleasantly shocked when i noticed he's still over the other end o the fone when i woke up at 6 in the morn...such a silly fellow....i like!

he wld call me every 3 hrs to tell me his whereabts...in case i worry cos i told him i got no sense o security...he felt pleased for me when i had a crush on someone but not him..he din ask for anything more....he was outraged n aghasted...when tt guy fooled me, making him sounds like he's the one being cheated...

he's a guy to die for cos he's romantic, he rems every single details which bogs down to the 1st day we noe each other, statements tt i've said b4... ... he love me for who i m...he quited smoking too juZ for me...n he said his cousin tried to tempt him but he din...he said he wish tt his bride was me when he attending his fren's wedding...n he said he wanna decline his trip to new zealand which's offered by his aunt cos my bday happens to fall on tt day...he's realli a swt darling...

of cos fairytales dun last at all...yes...i screwed up all...i told an annoynomous tt i dun like my current bf...not knowing tt he;s the annoynomous...i dun him for not trusting me cos i'm not one tt can b trusted...i noe it's time to let him go...i cried all day n night for an entire mth...cry my heart out not cos he's stepping outta my life 4ever, but i've hurt him so...i regretted the outcome...up til tis date...

my life changed, n i've turned into a double faced person...i'll b so hyper when i'm having company...but claustrophobic deep in the nite...i will eek out tears unknowingly n eventualli dried...wot's wrong w me.. no matter wat i do...i still cant make him mine...

i've a liking for one o my fren...but i dun wanna tk the initiative cos i m afraid of hurting another soul...i dunno how he feels for me but everyone think tt we're a couple...be it language, actions and all...we share the same intellect n all...he's swt, nice n everything tt gals wld most likely sought for...he will pop out out o the blue asking me if i was feeling good...he nv bother to ask me for cash even if he purchased things for me...he do not mind giving up lects n to teach the stupid me things tt i m unaware o...he do not mind being hit by me even if it's not his wrongs...yes...i m appearing in the bad light...

i've turned into a monotone...i dislike clubs tt once entice me...i dislike shopping cos i haf been doin so for the past decades...i do not like tokkin over the fone, i no longer love playg pool cos it's too loud a place for me...all i wan is an easy life w ordinary days of mahjong, family n frens...i've succumbbed to the real world, the harsh reality...i will turn petrified when exam result release r round the corner...i fear everything...i fear tt the world is eating me...n i fear i will lose myself...self esteem n confidence...i used to b someone who's popular w frens...mobile fone batt can onli last me less den 12hrs...it will keep ringing...yes i was a hot property...unlike now...everything turns to a hallucination...a facade... probably tt's how i enclosed myself...i do not like to step outta hse...i do not possess any zest for anything...i juZ wan to stay at home n relax while i can...

i'm stuck in a conundrum every now n den...i've been moulded into someone who's no longer resolute like b4...i lack the cells to process things...i procrastinate as long as time's not up...i hate my current self...

2006-03-22T09:03:00.000+08:00

had a great time ytd nite...as usual...cheehou made the best joke o the day...yup...he cracked millions o words n classify them as joke...er...rambling n all...

ate in KFC n TCC ytd...of cos i ordered my all time fav : home made tiramisu...it's nice...n u can feel n taste its various layers from cream, to coffee powder tt might make u choke n a kinda strong liquor tt stimulates ur buds...woah...

wonder if it's gd or bad...my direct in-charge is not in the office today, thurs n fri...good news is...he cant see my flaws which he claims to c...bad news is...i will b realli bored...should b seeing more o my blogs...it's so blend cos life is uninteresting for me...life's taking a downturn cos edmund's not ard....no one can perk me like wat he alwiz did...i wan love!!! he loves me n i do...we're juZ seperated from a million miles...counting down the day i can join him in LA...the tix makes me broke, but guess it's worthwhile after all he's done for me...love u bunn

2006-03-21T14:50:00.000+08:00

was ecstacy high the earlier part o the day...doin the mundane job once again...but it beats doin nottin...my eyes turn all droopy...but hafta restrain since i gotta issue over 30 checks...hafta issue transactions as well...yawnz...finally the tough fight is over...

had lunch w mimi...mahjong day tml...but i'm coming work for the 1st 1/2 o the day...heh..showing my sincerity k...at least m turning up for 4 hrs o work...how's tt? yup...lied again...sayg i gotta get my report, hope i wun suffer karma haha by losing loads on the table...losing 20 n below is definitely fine...since i'm not on winning streaks like i used to juZ back a couple o mths...

hate pple w absent mind...gtaking the forms themselves...n yet ask me to inform them where i place it cos it's impossible for her to search high n low...doesnt make sense??? nvm...in simple words, she took the things she sought for unknowingly n said i din inform her...yea...tt's the gist o my former statement...

been broke...cos m spending too much...i duno where the money went to, but certainly it din go to my savings acc...perhaps it's time for me to curb my cab trips...m counting down to my next fri payday...wahahaha...

meetg up w anna they all...been 1 mth since the last time i saw them, i've bloated once again...how to when my colleague is a glutton...ya la...i m also a glutton la...simon says simon do...

made tonnes o mistakes today...all the minor details...it gotta snowball to bowl my grades down...

i'VE failed myself..

2006-03-20T14:29:00.000+08:00

Rummaging the web,i 've looked thru the sites, from fashion to blogs to properties...goodness...

been viewing many units o hse tis few days....yup...basically they're sparten n most imptly, homogenuous...nottin's special, but the common point is...their floorg sucks...looks like i gotta b sucked dry by the contractor...

discovered quite a no. o plus size clothes...bidded on a top n skirt online juZ now...hopefully i can get wat i bid for...

i'm wasting my time sitting ard the office w no practicality...bumming ard at home cos i feel drained everyday...guess it's the travellg to raffles plc everyday makes me puke...bought some clothings on sat...i gotten myself a skirt tt is o decent length...but i tot i look like ah ma...thus din wear it today...got myself a designer top...not too ex...juZ over 60 bucks..

pay day soon...gotta dye my hair n shop til i drop dead since i haf uncover so many big sized boutiques...i tink when i start a biz...i will go into big size boutique industry...cos the supply can nv meet up w the overwhelming demand...w my tip-top service...i'm sure i can retain influx o customers...wonder if 100,000 is enuff for settg up tis biz...if it's feasible...i gotta start saving now...

2006-03-17T09:27:00.000+08:00

talked to my LO ytd abt the day's incident...she doesnt realli sound too ampathetic...she kept asking me to tell my in-charge tt i m grateful for his comments, n tt i wanna do well for IPP, so his guidance will b much appreciated...even ask me to pose him the question whether i haf shown remarkable improvement...all i can say is...it's redundancy...

during the whole o ytd's conversation...he sounded so peculiar n awkward...do u gather he will b taking wat my LO told me to say lightly??? i guess he will b more awakard when she coax me into telling him str in the face...i tink an email will work better...

even my mum agreed to wat i say...yup...looks like the LO gotta read up more on human psychology...

the female in-charge is on lve together...which means tt i haf one less person breathg down my neck...

sPeechless

2006-03-16T15:45:00.000+08:00

Ever Since someone slappg their mouths so often, juZ within a 10 mins conversation??? let me tell u how it works...

my in-charge told me abt my conduct today...reviewing b4 he relate to my LO...he said some dumbest things in the world...

1) for punctuality: he said he cant pick any flaws cos i m alwiz earli...n he sidetracked...asking if i tk cab often...i told him it's juZ habitual...n he let out n awkward smile...

2) for my work efficiency: he said i m veri swift in completing all work, but it doesnt compromise w quality...yupZ...hELLO...i haf juZ learnt everything one shot within the 1st 3 days i started work...how m i supposed to rem all the trivalty during the next time, let says 3 wks ltr, when i do it? u muZ at least show me some eg...i'm smart but not genius... n he still commented abt my punchg o holes skill when it's like so outdated cos he told me since the 2nd o 3rd wk...n i merely told him...rem tt tt time he gave me a faulty puncher??? den he eeks out an awkward smile again

3) my attire: he actualli heaved in n out 3 time o air b4 he let the cat outta bag...he said my skirts r too short...i m working in the bank, i haf to somehow uphold the image...goodness...they alr notice long time ago...is it so hard to voice it out??? it's ultra unfair...cos it's alr wk 5 n u r tellg me things at such wee hrs without giving me enuff time to prove to u tt i ccan change...h he slap his mouth by sayg tt i dun need to waste money to buy new clothes cos i said i wanted to revamp my whole wardrobe...so i told him tt the skirt i m wearing today is actualli the longest i can find...he again, let out n awkward smile... c'mon, i dun mind spending tt few bucks o xtra miles juZ to get better grades...

4) my using o earpc: he said tt i will haf v lil work to do...so i will feel v bored...n he saif they r cool w us using earphones to listen to mp3...next he said if we wanna use it...it'll b polite if we can ask them...after which he said tt when i m listeng to the earpc..it seems like i m not attentive when i m tokking to them...n it's like the left side o my earpc is stuck in my ear n the right is not, they dun feel gd tokkin to me like tt...duh rite??? dunno wat he is trying to prove...totally contradicting...

i'm the most pissed for my attire thingy...if he realli tink tt he's embarassed tellg me...get a female to tok to me...i m liberal...not someone w mind sticking deep in the mud...i m living in the 21st century...not someone in the 70s...even my mum is more open den them la...i felt so injustice myself...the worst part is...he actualli said tt he gonna grade me quite badly for my 1st few wks...cos i made tonnes o mistakes...goodness...how can a veteran gauge a newbie in his point o view???? he;s the one w no common sense...not me....n my in-charge says i got no common sense when i chopped "received" on a booklet...how m i suppose to noe ur trace o tots when u din express urself properly...i guess they can tok properly anyway...cos they enjoy slapping themselves...everywhere...

|uRve iS A liNE btWn AmbiguOusity n EmotION

2006-03-16T08:32:00.000+08:00

hAD a loNG talk w nam abt mimi n his prob...yah...i agreed tt such arguments r often the results o snowballs o trivalty...

but i envied their quarrels cos it nv exist btwn me n ed...n i admire the things he has done for her...it's touchg n most imptly, it shows tt he cares n he's willing to indulge in doin DIY thingy for her...everyone will die for tis kinda guy material rite... on the other hand, my guy onli flash his money...n material wise stuff nv seem to pose any prob to him, once i say it, he buy it...tt's pleasg but lack o sincerity cos i might bang into anyone wearing the same thing as me, it juZ lack the originality...

loVE is the unique feelg tt brings 2 diff individuals together, they r diff in tots, living habits n even traces o words...but, they juZ click...u shld haf seen nam n milah when they r together, their eyes met n it seems like the world onli revolve btwn the 2 o them...envious rite? they do not regard pple's opinion n sights, admirable...tis is wat we call chemistry...it's not an everyday matter tt u will knock into someone tt will b totally at ease when u r ard...but i guess the 2 o them needs more time, understandg n small lil talks...

n i tink they will work fine, cos both o them r sweet, good nature and loads, pple for opp sex to die for...! YUPz...meetg them for lunch ltr...

...

2006-03-13T14:53:00.000+08:00

Ed's Realli lvg for the states tonight...gonna haf a weary day again...off to sending me off ltr.

sth wrong w wei2...cos she seem rather upset today, it's kinda hard to pry open her mouth...wonder wat's wrong w her...today's kinda ok w me...at least i was kept busy doin sth...the most dreadful thing i came across today was the shredder...goodness gracious...its appetite is so fucking small, with less den 40 sheets o paper...it whine n halt...din move further...i tink the whole o retailing dept was screwed up by me...cos the machine sucks n it "liberates" damn loudly...

wei2 was there to help me gettin trash bags n removing the paper bits... phew....i took 1.5 hrs to finish shredding...imagine shredding 60cm o papers..god...]

m ponderg when to go Haji Lane to get darL'S TOP...hmph...wait til i get my pay den...hehe...so broke n drained...

deadBEat bUT hAPpy

2006-03-13T08:33:00.000+08:00

tOoK mC again on fri...haha...cant seem to resist the charm tt's evolved from mahjong...goodness...i know i din change a bit...

saturday was a waste o time stayg home...ya...played mahjong as well, but on random basis...mum will onli call me to play for her when she's in need o help...cant believe it...the more she plays, the more retarded she gets, she din even realise she's listening to tiles...gosh

sun was fun...was tinkg o not turning up for xiao mimi bday cos gotta attend my relative's wake, but in the end i budged, cos the bday gal spoke to me over the fone. trip wasnt wasted cos we had loads o fun...lethargic- cos i gotta climb up n down helpg them carry the bBq equip...fire was fuming but yet, hard to set, cos it's far too windy, enjoyed thoroughly cos the whole place was packed w dogs...gosh, look at the golden retriever's sturdy but whizzy hair, n it's protuding pouty mouth, CUTE! TONNES o shih tze n spaniels... woah...magnificent!

waited for jeanne, terry n the rest to turn up, my perspective changed cos i used to tink tt terry's kinda dao, but looks like i'm wrong, cos he juZ appear cold to stranger i guess. Jeanne's still her usual chirpy, perky n nosy parker mood... haha, she stirs the whole ambience up...

pei nam's mum is nice too, esp in her culinary...sting ray's superb!...but she pushed me down to tk more photos when i said i wanted to lve...goodness...was protesting from 6+ all the way, juZ to go home...i ended up leaving at 9....

blackforest ice- cream cake is of cos the limelight...had a hearty meal...played rounds o card games...we petrified n indian baby in the pavillion while playg heart attack, but nvm, cos all o us r way too high...thX milah for tis exhilarating day...

since start o IPP, i got no life...n milah tempted me to tk mc for today...fortunately i was firm in my mind, if not, her words will swept me away, cos nam's mum jio me play mahjong...looks like MC is inevitable next wk...haha...i tink i will b screwed for my attendance, nonetheless, i'm willing to brave all storm for my passion, i will tk a half day lve then!...

...

2006-03-09T10:06:00.000+08:00

1stly, i'm flabbergasted as some bloggers english...so, i wld like to apologise for my complacency cos all along, i'm alr quite linguistic... he's ultimately the best i've seen, within 20 postings on his blog posting...i hafta check more den 30 wordings...yup...dun get it nv nv seen it, nor feel their exisgency...

still learning hard on ways to improve my flawed english, haven been realli polishg it for ages, since...3 yrs back i guess, seriously, nyp writing communication can nv b on par w the std arrayed by jc. Even the markg scheme are pale in comparison o jc scheme...

2ndly, i wanna lament my DArL...geeZ....comme des garcons...goodness...u noe in the whole o sg onli got one outlet...n it's in Haji Lane...where's tt..i've checked, it's opp parkroyal hotel, where's tt? it's opp beach rd...since i've profess my love for ya...i'll travel ya for ur sake...solely for ur sake...feel my love??? actually, i'm juZ pillorizing myself cos i've committed a nefarious sin...yup, so pls dun b ignominous... time's ticklg by...mon's approaching n u're lvg...

we'll enjoy our time in IMM tml, wun we? u promise to select my furnishing for me...n yay,,,of we go n view hse w my mummy...muacks...cya tml hun

CatastropHic

2006-03-08T08:21:00.000+08:00

...i'm so unlucky can??? baby came over last nite...which i felt fortunate...cos tis morn when i da bao food for myself n kylene rite...we passed by one stinky indian man saying " ur butt is so nice, i wan to lick ur butt"...of cos my baby heard it...screwed tt person upside down...tt guy is insane...

next daRling sent mE to Work...n Pickering st was closed...the rightful cab fare rose from the usual 13 bucks to 20 bucks today...goodness...jammed for 7 bucks...tt's equivalent to more den 20 mins jam k...considering tt every 28sec the fare will jump by 10c....WTF...

m so hungry now...

gUy!!!

2006-03-07T08:43:00.000+08:00

Ladi3s...GUyS R thE mAIN SourCe o LAugHTEr n IRriTant...agreE?

mY guY pLEases ME by SneakG bACk Frm HK b4 hE mADe hiS ofFiciaL TriP to LA...i Was PLeaseD, suRPrIsED N of COs gLeEFUl,,,He DemANDed Me TO tK mc TO aCC HIM foR the whole o today...

i'm CooL w IT...bUT at 3+ nEar 4 duRing thE Wee Hrs...hE tolD mE hE dRanK w His Fren tiL hiGH...yupZ...askG if We caN mEet at A ltR TIme...sCREW HIM...i WUn budge..caLL ME petty iF u Wan...coS i'VE lonG ago EmaiLED my in-chArge Tt i Wun b TURng uP foR work TOday...n in THE enD...i haf to...loss O pRide n oF coS...DirecTion...

wat'S thE pT o msGg me sTatg TT U"RE APOLOgetic when obviously tHE things u TOld ME b4 HAnd wiLL Set mE tuRn thE whoLE tabLE...gulP to uR deAth w uR frens...i hAte ppLE whO dUN dO wat thEY prEACH...I Wun BE SenDg ya oFf...m Afraid u'll plaY mE oUT agaiN...DAMn...

-LEthArgic....baRely slPt foR 3 hRs...knEw Tt Sth wiLl Cock up...pRObabLY wAs pErturBED BY it...SO---NV DOUBT WOMEN'S HUNCHES OR INSTINCTS-

Forev3r tog3ther

2006-03-03T09:30:00.000+08:00

We ponder often the reason we met
our early beginnings we'll never forget
Now, at last we're forever together
through sunny days and stormy weather
The love we had across the miles
brought us joy and brought us smiles
Now our physical being has joined our soul
we're together and now we're whole
When we awaken during the night
we can now caress and make things right
Never again we'll be apart
love dwells forever within our hearts

i was at 1st claustrophobic once i'm alone in the gloomy room
when u entered the door, i juZ knew u're the one for me, I MISS U

sAd

2006-03-01T08:55:00.000+08:00

reaCheD HOme DArn late DUrinG thE Wee HrS...yupZ...Sent HIm OFf ytD dURg mIDniGHt hR...unBEarabLE buT agreeable...i Was THe One WHo AsK Him To FurTHer hIS stUDieS b4 hE tuRNs Too Old...") Well...i'll MISs hiM i GUess it'S OnLi 3 mtHS N He'LL B Back TO mE...CAnt CuDdle hIm likE i USed to...bUT i'll CrAddle hiM in mY thouGHts...

FElT glEeful toDAy buT wAs tRoddeN bY thE moRN MRT Trip...coS thEy sTOp foR 5 mInS at Every Stop...goODness...i EnDed up 3 mINs late FOr work...i hAd ppLE wHo dUN PracTIse punCtuALity...gosh...DEn thEre;s oNe olD haG shoVIng HEr Way when HEr "blIND" eyEs caN C tT The PpLe iN FroNT o mE r nOT evEn BudgG...i GOnA foRSaKe thE TRAIn tmL...

-ed_baby_

2006-02-28T10:03:00.000+08:00

My hearts reaching out for you
I want you here
I want to hear your laugh,
close to meso near

My heart breaks each time I think of your face
In my heart and soul, you'll never be replaced
I miss you like crazy
I want you to be back home
Everyone's falling apart,
and I'm feeling alone

I just want to see your face,
just one last time
Every single memory will forever exist in my mind
I hope you're looking down on me and everyone
I hope its your light thats shining from the sun
Guide me through each day,
you're on my mind
A person identical to you,
I will never ever find

Why aren't you here?
I just don't understand
My heart keeps crying,
tears falling on my hand

So many questions,
answers will never be told
But Edmund your love and friendship I'll always hold
I miss you like crazy,
its like a part of me is gone

My heart is breaking and my mind is not
You'll always have a special spot in my heart
I'll always love you
like I did at the very start

-if i've 1 wish to indulge in, i'll wish tt tml's ur flight arrival, to return a big part o me...i once tot tt love's transient, ur presence has denied my statement, i love u-

mY lOVE lEft mE on 2/28

2006-02-28T09:42:00.000+08:00

My belt loosens slowly.
Reminders of you stay freshin murky ponds of suffocating tadpoles.
Wake me in the morning,
when the sun shines again.
It's frightening when all I know falls apart.
And all I know is you.

Hunger squeezes me tighter.
My soul sags with exhaustion.
Ashtrays fill with sleepless nights.
Weeping intensifies my anxiety.
Can tomorrow come without you...here today?

The cheap chandelier falls on my face.
The rose filled lamp explodes in my hands.
Pain is unrecognizable.
All I knew was you.
You.
My love.

mei yi ci he ni fen kai
shen shen de bei ni da bai
mei yi ci fang qi ni de wen rou
tong ku nan yi shi huai

mei yi ci he ni fen kai
mei yi ci kiss u goodbye
ai qing de zi
ci ke wo zhong yu zui ming bai

payday

2006-02-28T09:31:00.000+08:00

yay!!! it's payday today...undoubtedly it's a meagre sum, but it's better den nottin..at least it compensate 30% o my spendgs for the last 2 wks...gettin v lil for my credit card job as well...cos i onli worked 1 day,..

went down for work on sat, gosh!!! some old man was blowing his trumpets n all kind o instruments juZ opp my workpl...can;t tk it...so i left the place 15 mins after n headed home...

was paid 50 thou..haha....m glad for tt wasted trip...

went town in the eveng, ate at tt roadsside hawker..the one near OG>...the zhu chao there sucks, stingray wasnt too cooked, sambal kangkong got too much prawn paste and their frog leg, dunnon if the wok's hot enuff when they put the ingredients in... taste so awful n my mum gotta pay 30 bucks...

but we're happy chattg thou...

juZ completed 3 tasks...m waitg for my in-charge to come in...yupZ...edmund;s lvg tonight...how sad...when can i c him again??? in 3 mths time...

UncoUTh

2006-02-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

i seriously tink tt my virtuous aunt had delivered bitch n basterd within her hsehold...her both children r far cries frm her....goodness gracious...they've no respect for beings at all...

my female cousin...same age as me...took my eyebrow tweezer again for the 3rd time....yeah...3rd time tt i caught her, askg if she'd seen my tweezer...she said she din...so how did i managed to find it lying ard the living rm in the morn??? i dun rem pluckg my eyebrow there, DO I?

n her son, goodness, he obviously said tt his mum is lame, i'm juZ pickg up tt statement casually, he ranted n barked back at me, n said tt i'm ridiculous...anyone wld haf enuff sense to treat pple w more respect esp when it's in front o everyone...how embarassing...of cos i can onli replied by sayg he's fierce all the time, so i'm used to it in front o my aunt cos she told her son upfront tt he's too rude...

yeah i'm being hypocritical, but tt's better den hurtg someone's pride in the face o the entire family...

i wonder how these brats' children gonna b like in the future, foul habit for not keeping themselves clean, foul hand tt keeps misplacing things, foul mouth tt shape all words like vulgar and a foul brain tt can operate properly n claim tt they wanna teach someone o A level std when her A's sub were screwed...

yupX...they're juZ fucked up shrimps...*stinkZ*

T.T(s) n Cheques shudders me

2006-02-23T16:47:00.000+08:00

goodness, i dunno issue how many millions o TT n Cheques today...no doubt i'm money-minded...but it's horrendous...the tax invoice tt was given to me piles up to b taller den a mountain...i gotta clear it b4 lunch since i prefer not to carry work forward...

anyw...time passes real soon today...cos i'm bogged down by work...feels good...lookg forward to promoting card tml...hahZ! kylene fell sick today...but she;s sweet...at least she acc me til xiaomi-mi came down to eat w me...

i've to clear so many decades o fixed assets..cant the IC gives me everything one shot?? it seems endless to compile a file...

my IC even came all the way to my room to ask me photocopy a pc o document for him....by the time he walks in n out...it's more den enuff time to complete tt job himself...wat a fool...

i'm still lethargic irregardless o how many hrs i slp...-yawnz-

last goodbye

2006-02-22T16:15:00.000+08:00

18th may 2004 is the day we're linked
24th nov 2004 is the day our eyes met
25th jan 2005 u brought glimmers o love on my hatch day
24 apr 2005 was the time we tie our knots
however on the 14th feb tis yr, i broke my promises

nv did i wan to shatter my once-honeyed words
nv did i mean wat i said over the dining table
nv did i feel lesser for ya for every passg day
nv did i bear to cya lve me for 2 long yrs

u once told me u cld postpone everything til i'm ready
and even said u will wait for me b4 my mind's made
u often tolerated for my berating moments
and u alwiz reciprocate my mood swings w ur love

we're such diff individual
u're good-natured, loud but fun, electricfying eyes tt stimulates our every meetg
u're ever-cherry lips are intangible...
on the other hand, i;m juZ a plain jane

our seperation ain't cos i love u no more
in fact, i miss u more den anything,
fairness's all i wan for u since everything's unfathomable
n nothin's fixed

i yearn for the day for our get-together
hopeful tt neither o us r wavered
wishing for our next reunion
reminscing our dates

endure the current pain
dry all tears away
our promise to stay apart will last for half a yr
but the love we share will stay for decades...

-urveZ_3dMunD_bB-

chirpy morning!

2006-02-22T08:46:00.000+08:00

mmm...in my lime green shoes today...din dress too formally today...juZ clad in my turtle neck n a short skirt.! hahZ...feel kinda good...probably cos i noe i'll b tkg mc on fri...cos i wanna work...it beats working in the office...kinda tired nw...it's gettin harder to wake up every morn...my feet r drained from my heels...but i dun haf formal flats...hmph...will get in tonight??? since m goin suntec to retrieve my belt...

work's piling up in 30 mins time...waitg for my in-charge to finish his brkfast...their self-proclaimed time...but it's goood...promotes colleagues bonding...geeZ...i duno wot i'm talkg abt

hehe....will c soonheng on fri...den we can promote card together...will b working on sat as well coss i seriously burn a big hole...yeah i mean a huge one in my pocket...bought 2 pairs o shoe...ate in not too cheap places...goodness...i hafta kick my habit o takg cab if not i'l get my ass kicked when i'm broke...cos m stoppg allowance frm mum from next month 20th...tt means i m dependg on the IPP pay n watever my dad's giving me....it's not enuff!!!

my IC's tkg a freakg long time...kylene n me will alwiz rot in the off...when it's near time to knock off...we'll b shoved w tonnes o work...they're not empathetic at all...i mean in our stand...of cos they're empathetic in their stand cos they dun knock off at 530...sometimes 7...i presume they expect us to do the same...but we wun b paid..tt defeats the purpose...

bye pple...hope u all can endure tis entire wk...like i say...time's crawling

oh ya...broke up w edmund alr....cos he's leavg next tues...

2nd wk

2006-02-20T11:21:00.000+08:00

i'm experiencing my mon blues again...it;s onli the 2nd wk o my attachment..tis is hell hole...my manager juZ lamented me...putting me in a bad spot...she juZ give me the glare tt make me feel so retarded...i guess cos ann n tze how spoonfeed me too much...to the extent i cant accomplish my task alone w no guidance...whose fault? theirs n mine...cos they din let me handle things alone...n i was too distracted...onli focused on day 1...n it happens tt tt's my slackiest time ard...

both o my direct in-charge r not here today...thX god i bought my sketch bk...will do some drawg later...the idea o finance industry realli bogs down on me now...wondering if i;m realli goin for tis line...it;s so tedious n every little trivial matters gotta b computed in the system...sums as little as 6.58 bucks are supposed to b in the record...well...it's making life diff for me...probably i'm stupid...i tend to grasp things a little too slow...

i was so piss w the M today...she asked me to transfer myself outta my comfy room...to sit on ann's place...onli to know tt i cant log in to the com system cos we need ann password to do so...after tt i went back to the room...she again, popped in to ask me to sit at tze how's pl...everythin was smooth...i managed to sign in...but...there's no email setting...she fidgetted for 5 mins..n ask me to go back to my room again...there i m...carrying everything in again...frm my bag to files n stationary... tt's how irritating...i feel as if i;m her slave..gotta carry out her every command...if not for my grades, i'll screw u, bitch!

tml m meeting W.Ting n Andrea...Ivy again...was nowhere to b found...wanna go on mc soon...cant tk it anymore...days r realli crawling cos i got nottin better to do...n my days r therefore not productive...i hope someone can pop by to ask me write some article o sth...so tt i can moonlight during att...cos they din issue me any work...but of cos tt;s the case...cos i'm onli paid 500...juZ learnt tt a fren o mine receive 700 bucks by attG to Hong Leong Finance,,,

lunch hrs r approachg...n frens tt i;ve met along my way to my workpl were srcutinising at my new hairdo...it's pretty short...but kinda refreshing cos it's been ages since i c myself in short hair...looks younger...*grinZ* (tt's juZ my self-opinated remark) i wanna buy the piere cardin white n black bag...n a new belt...

earli_bird

2006-02-16T07:59:00.000+08:00

n earli bird catches it worm...i've got no worms to catch for being earli...took a cab again today...god! fare's steep...13 bucks..it alreadi covers 50% O MY daily allowance given for tis attachment...

ate TCC ytd...bought a new pair o shoes...m wearing it rite now...i'm xperiencing xcruciating pain now...but it's nice thou....so will juZ put off the torments...

finally it's fri tml....been counting since the start o wk...phew...was kinda preocuppied ytd...did lotsa filing...puncturing til my muscles ache now on my left hand...compiling info for some distribution arrangements...yeah...WTF is tt...

wonder wat wld i b covering today...hope my day will b kept busy...den time will fly...b4 i can notice it...i will b on my way back...

meeting mum for a shopping spree tml...will wear a nice pair o shoe so i can embark on a fruitful trip *grinZ*

wei2 n me realli ran outta place to eat have our lunch...tink we will move on to city hall for lunch...since we dunno raffles plc premises well...

competency

2006-02-14T11:00:00.000+08:00

gosh...imagine a competent individual is onli given that molehill type o job...i finished issuing tansfer transaction receipt to US, EURO n SG companies...i have done sorting out the PIMCO funds, commission n trailer fees forms....so few items within 2 hrs...seems like i will spend my time examining my nails, n viewing the scenic view frm my building juZ likw ytd...

played 2 hrs o bejeweled on the come ytd...took some pictures o the view...file my nails n doodling on papers w pen...how "taxing" can office job b...no wonder my mum kept sayg tt we shld strive hard for tt pc o qualification paper,,,den we can slack in the offie for the rest o our life...indeed....everyone exit to the pantry as n when they like...crowding ard n gossip every once in 2 hrs...tt's office life.??? bet i prefer a blue collar worker...at least i m doin sth meaningful somehow while i'm dispatched to a factory or sth as an operator...rite???

pple outside seriously took hrs to examine my work,,,n onli pt out my mistakes at wee hr...when i m lvg my office....life's taking a nasty turn in the office...every min seems like years eeking by....god!

rich

2006-02-13T13:19:00.000+08:00

woah...i'm whopping rich,,,received my bday hongbaos...new yr hong baos...my hard earned lbr pay by today...allowance next wk...n my 2 wks pay for job attachment for my school IPP...hehe...*grinZ*

1st day at work today,,,something different...everyone seems frenly as they greeted me...cordially i can say...but...the person whom i'm under's boring...she spks w a mono-tone...no smile nor beam on her face. i've to prepare a changed o exchange rates for the financing dept everyday...issuing o cheques...n applying my knowledge on using the accounting software they will teach me ltr on...

lunch hr's onli 1 hr...but it seems like no one's in the office...all slackers...even my in-charge as well...when she went off earlier den me...not tt i'm goody2shoes,,,it's juZ tt i'm punctual...dun wanna eat into pple's time at their expense when i'm paid to laze ard doin nothing...

2.5 mths seem unbearable when it's my onli 1st day n i'm grumbling non-stop...happy! cos i bought in 3 skirts on sat...hehe...green red n one is er...let me gather... i tink it's black...frm hugo...

wanna go for hair cut tis wkend or maybe fri...since i dun hafta work on sat...tis's the onli good news i have heard since morn cos all along i tot i need to work on sat... dyeing new hair colour...still contemplating o my old colour...(copper n blonde streak) or change it to orange...might b too loud to b sauntering in my workplace...but HECK!. rebonding tis wkend i tink...looks like i can nv b rich...cos b4 i pile heaps o money..i squander them within 3 snaps...snap snap snap...n there it goes...

when m i moving outta hell hole...it's gettin tricky n it's way too long...i'm tired to live under such bleak condition...u noe sth...whenever my cousin is back...i will lock myself frm her in the room...i tink i gonna get autistic soon...haha...probably every1 will luff their heads o cos tt will b the last thing tt happens to me...

oh ya...b4 i forget..i haf to send an email to my LO...reporting to her abt my job scope... i'm paid juZ a meagre sum o 500 bucks....for all the trouble o travelling frm hougang to shenton...walking my lungs out in the financing dpt...i pref my fren's...cos she is transferred to the marketing team...n for pple who's so audible like me...shld b heard there...instead o stucking in 1 room tt is given to me...lotsa privacy but i feel secluded...accounting job is realli tt boring...i finally catch the glimpse o hint i've been showered w here...

ciaos....enuff o complainings...oh ya...talkg abt complaining...was helping my fren write a complaint letter ytd...hah...his long awaited management finalli replied...he took 2 months to move them...n i merely took 15 mins in words to move them...yeah...i deserve tt thunderous applause...muacks...love myself...

get to me if u wanna supreme quality o complain letter...cos u will definitely b heard n the reader, will feel bombarded!

broke

2006-01-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

1stly...i bought a new mobile fone...yea...w800i...something tt's not on my list but i got it eventually...cos everyone promoted this fone to me...secondary to my N70...was annoyed...cos the outlet actually sold the last pc of N70 to another customer...juZ in front o me...gosh...i've to stick to 800 den...yeah...the price was ard 800 as well...so broke

next...i worked in sg expo...it was so expensive...my goodness...spent roughly 100 bucks on food??? haha...yeah...i'm a glutton...but...no choice...it's realli exhorbitant...hopefully my pay will ease me a little...

had tonnes o ICAs n Projs...time's passing way too fast for me...perhaps i din even follow the pace in the 1st pl..my zest diminished since wk 4 o sch starts...hahZ...yeah...like i say...my concentration span's short...

i finally did sth to my hair..unfortunately...it's not rebonded cos the stylist say it'll b too dry for my ends...so....he dyed it violet red instead...

brought my fren's dog out for a walk last fri...goodness gracious me...the dog broke free of its leash as it was too loose...n ran...of cos we gave chase...given her small physique...it's no wonder we cant trace her seconds ltr...the next time we found her...she was lying across the road w 2 policeman n 5 onlookers...

yeah...she was bleedly...helluva crap...i cried immediately...cos i was freaked out...hafta tk cab to n fro the places...juz to look for vet...n finally settled for mt. pleasant hosp...tt hosp's atrocious...sayg if we dun pay the deposit...they wun nurse the dog...god damn it..they're not showing any ampathy at all...fuckers...

yeah...i've to chip in for the medical fees...probably i was obliged to...cos my fren posed the question to me...n perhaps i din learn how to say "no" well back in my sch days...i agreed....

god...1000+ within 2 wks...i juZ spent it like tt...

a least there's some consolation...cos edmund's back...finally frm HK...bought back some goodies n accessory...hahaha

i love ya baby....i guess onli ya can provide me a less painful environment...i felt so drained...probably cos u weren't ard for 3 long wks...god...i'm perturbed...how can i stand it when u r away for LA... in a few mths time...for 3 yrs...

hols

2005-12-15T19:53:00.000+08:00

COunting down to Friday...woah...yeap...hols's approachg...

goin JB w my bitches tml...hahZ...eating...shopping...movie...or even ktv??? guess wat i heard...my fren actually changed 10 sg dollars and spent it in JB...n she can enjoy lunch, getting home a dvd and watched a movie over there...gosh...jb's cheap...

goin frm kranji tml...waitg for my bro's answer on whether he's goin...sat's andrea's bday...n i tink i'm damn mean today...decline my fren offer for goin kuantan... the tix r bought alreadi...n i played them out the last time...i'm a baddie...but try to understand kZ...my result's atrocious...cant tk it...gotta mug for this fortnight...if not no one can salvage my condition

mmm...i tink i gonna change 30 bucks will do...hafta curb my spending...been spending far too much...juZ on last fri sat n sun...i spent 100+ on every day...god...

oh...ya...jacchow's driving now...she's realli a maniac...sauntering at any holes she see...yeah...of cos her temper wasnt gd when she drives n especially bad when she lost her way...haha typical jac...she'll start cursing n swearg at pedestrians...who crawl like snails...but i tink she's kinda skilled for a newbie yeah...poor jac...she gotta fetch free loaders as well...who practically made use of her at their own expense...

n edmund juZ left for HK...tt idiot...for a damn 3 wks...bloody long...i gonna miss him...he said he gotta get me a dildo...tt sicko...but i noe deep down he's a gentleman...he's juZ a man w words n no action...pornographic mind with no evil intention...seen anyone like tt??? view my guy den...he's one in a million...i love him!!!...

tk care hunny...back safely to meet me...i'll whack ya in pool when u get back...i swear u'll lose til ur pants drop...muackZ...

loathesome workload

2005-12-08T15:30:00.000+08:00

je mepelle Chantal..yea...juZ finished my french self-introduction speech...it's tedious...time consuming but din expect it to pass like a breeze since i onli incur 30 seconds i tink to present...haha...was rambling non-stop...wondering if he can get me...guess wat...thereafter...i got my ICT presentation...gosh it's a damn long day...i'm tired...30 mins more to head not home but compasspoint... my gruesome cousin's bday tdy...guess i'll juZ get her things frm missha...since everything's too expensive for her...i'm mean rite...but i tink she deserve it...how cosmetic can lay comfortably on pple who onli bath once in 2 or 3 days...my god la...none of my fren found it credible to buy tis tale...

love life's goin on fine as alwiz...seems like ed n me r not gonna split...even after he left for LA...but i gonna b lovesick...probably for the initial 3 mths...i might haf a change o heart after tt...hahZ...crazy gal...i'm bonker... dun bother abt me...yay!!! chilling out w my bitches on sat...booking of chalet n ktv on sat...woah!!!...i hope sat dun end... been shopping like nobody's business...bought all my new yr clothes alreadi...spent a hefty sum o 500+ for the past 2 wks..i hereby declare bankrupt...hahZ!... cya pple on sat..love u all...

2005-11-08T15:04:00.000+08:00

gosh...wanted so much to skip my business acc n business finance today...darn tiring...lil do i noe i've done sth wrong for my essay...i tot the focal point was our individual core values...but in stead...it's wot we tink o singapore's core value....my goodness...i gotta re-write the whole thing i guess...

i'm drained...business law work undone...still left w the importance...den as 4 business finance...i noe nuts abt it...tot i was so well-equipped on the 2nd wk...i'm once again proven wrong...french??? nv my cup o tea...tis sem's too torturous...tonnes o work to do...seems like 24hrs's not enuff...

...

2005-10-28T14:12:00.000+08:00

school started for a fornight...obviously the air was stifling w the awkwardness i've anticipated weeks back...

life's no longer the green lawn o pasture...i've to avoid stares, glares, probably ostracism, scornful remarks w pple sauntering ard me... was in a new grp now...nice company o frens...but it seems like i cant penetrate them...NEVER!!!...no one's at fault...guess they were too bonded in the past...let say for 1 yr...they're the inseperable clicks u can c in the sch...i wanna add spices in the conversation when i'm w em...but cant seem to do so since i'm not familiarise w their culture as yet...nahZ...dun wanna give it a try...

work's a heavy load...but somehow or rather...it's strange tt i actually enjoyed doin em...hah...yeah...the world's goin in n anti-clockwise direction...the overall verdict i have for myself is...i'm a peacemaker...i wanted so much to pluck up my tongue to say hi...but...their eyes look rather vicious...no...not the rite words...it's COLD...tt's wat perturb me...gotta b classmates for another 2 more sem...life's gotta go on...miss my st nicks click now...n jc mahjong kakis...or even my chowchow...been decades since i'm out w her...

being att's getting boring...hafta make time out even thou i'm busy like mad...i wan to rest...nvm...soon to come...in a couple o mths...he'll b out...outta my life...nahZ...outta my sight...he's goin to a faraway place...whether or not we place a fullstop on tt day??? no one can fathom...it's like 4 mths later?? too earli for conclusion...

ciao...off to tk my nappie _WnK...

2005-10-14T22:37:00.000+08:00

finally...it's the end of our tedious TEP...it's the end of our either hectic or slacky days...marchg towards our classical on monday...

lotsa mixed feelings for me...kinda miss the pple in cheers...eldc n of cos...ardc...i'm petrified..wonder how i position myself in class on mon...the cloud of awkwardness will somehow be lingering in the ominous sky...

today's one of their bday...i wished her happy bday...all i get was a reaction on her hand, w her back facing me...i din even get a smile...i wonder wot had i committed to get such a murderous act...doesnt pay to b nice...

will b headg for KBOX n suntec on mon...w 2 diff clicks...tml celebrating ivy's bday...was anticipating it since tues...hahZ...how i miss my gal...sec sch frens r realli more everlasting den any frens i meet in my latter phase...at least i feel light w them...at the veri minimum..i dun hafta watch wot i say...n everyone's secret's open secrets within ourselves...

i'm afraid to learn anything new...or rather, the truth...i dun wanna get any slanderous remarks again...somehow or rather...the scene still play back to me momentarily...probably they're onli aware o protecting their emotions...but not others...or perhaps...the discarded ones...realli wonder if they r following my footsteps in repitition...i wonder how smeared my name is...to tink tt some pple's treatment 2wards me r no longer the same...m i over-sensitive??? i hope so...i'm grieving...probably i reali tk them seriously as my fren...but i'm not returned the favour...saddening...

2005-10-11T18:50:00.000+08:00

mY 17th Oct ResolutIon///

Woah...jUZ got my time table today...wAs kinDA fine W iT...Mon n FRi's mY ofFicIal Early day...Wed...hahZ!!! i can mAKe it oFficial on my behalf...cos the last 3 hrs's lecture...n it's abt national education...guess no one will blame me if i din go for it...

i'm bogged down w tonnes o sub...business law, business acc, costing acc, business finance, french (eEkZ...i was opting for german...but too little intake to form a class...damn it...), ICT, Taxation and finally...National Education...

no MOre short days i guess...cos some o the tut ends at the end of the day..yawns...

i wanna work!!! but guess i can make it since i have quite a number o free days...n i wanna mug on sunday...for the chapters tt the lect gonna go thru for the wk...yeah...it's a blabbering o words...no responsibilities involved...but nahZ!!! i gonna make it happen...my result's too trashy to b seen in places like NTU NUS or even SMU...the best i cld make out of it is SIM...goodness...i've wasted my yr 1 like tt...not studyg n all...

i'm quite excited w french actually...haha... hope i get a chance for exchange prog??? i guess not...i'm not those top-notch stud...i gotta get at least 4 A's for tis sem...if not, i can forget abt enterin U...i dun wanna lve SIngapore...neither do i wanna lve my frens...happy hatched day IVY TAN!!! sorrie if my writing got no tally today...i'm lethargic...

...

2005-10-04T18:14:00.000+08:00

i finally noe the answer for the boycotting i've got recently...yeap...cos o our econs proj...two pple(s & e) were frm my click...one's quite ok w me (p) n one guy tt i worked w for tis particular proj...P happens to b not doin anything for the proj...end up i gotta write her speech for her n she commented n complained to us y is her speech so short...rubbishy yeah...

everyone was pissed n said she gonna get it for her peer evaluation...ended up when i realli mentioned her "commitment"...i was blamed for being merciless...wot kinda word is tis...everyone dun seem to tk in acc for watever they've said n meant...

another thing was tt tt time, one gal told me she's a les...c'mon, we're a click o 5...i dun c any prob in tellg other pple in our grp...moreover...wot's the big deal...probably ur the most conservative les i've ever seen...i'm one b4 as well...SO??? big fuck??? perhaps i got loose tongue...juZ spare me ur so-called secrets next time

u told me u dislike me the moment i stepped in nyp...n yet u shower me w attention...tt's like how fake...how can u say i still treat P like fren after all i've written abt her??? tt's not being fair...moreover...u r juZ n outsider...u dunno wot exactly happen..onli got closer to P after everything happens cos S n E got sour w me...n i confided in P...it's juZ so simple...u pple juz like to live in another dimension o the world...thinkg ur complications's juZ too rite...yeah...i got upset over these things...which i wonder y...cos probably i tk u as a fren more den u tk me...perhaps poly's frenship's too fragile...i din c all these in my past sec sch life...or even jc life...perhaps tt's the diff btwn coed schs n mono...yeap...nvm...i'll juZ complete my 1.5 yrs more in nyp, get done w it...n off i go...

lucky-...-or-...-unlucky

2005-09-24T21:52:00.000+08:00

i'm being maligned again...probably my intention somehow was mistaken all the time...cos i'm too socialable??? mixing w grps all the time...to the extent they tk the grp bonding for granted...they will assume i can betray them as n when i feel like it...how fake can tt b...still rem they told me they dislike me two wks upon our knowing o each other...the pt is tt...they treats me nicely...tt's scary...

i'm once again called a jiao lang(bird person)... it's so childish...cos it's bcause o a small issue...tis guy told me tt he worked cos he has to pay for his soccer debts...it's such a simple story...but he pref to conclude tt it's of high complication til no one can weave tt story content out...

he told me on wk 3...n things starts haywiring at onli wk 5...wot's the conclusion??? he's naive...i was so pissed...been enveloped w words o insults n sarcasm...but thZ to him to affirm my suspicion tt words abt me was goin ard...yeap...someone called me a jiao lang as well...he said i'm not even worthy to b his fren or even cheers partner...onli hi-bye acquaintance...so be it...he said i'm the worst species he had ever seen...woah...impressive remark...i was nearly blown off my feet...fortunately, i was strong...but i stil wept in the loo...poor freaking me!!!

air starts to clear when lisa n eugene said they were talking abt him over the lunch table last sat, the stock taking day. lisa happen to onli noe tt RB got financial prob...on the other hand, eugene noe tt RB bet soccer...so wot's the outcome? CHIA happily linked both story n tell CAI...m CAI told RB she knew his agenda to work...tt's how it struck me...i got SHOOT...yeah..BULLeye...they cant b any more accurate den tt...i finally realise wot's wrong w knowing too much..n the 1st or last person to noe everything..perhaps my face etches the word "shoot me cos i'm a bird"...

perhaps i ain't trustworthy...but c'mon...dun pin urself too high up..cos u r not the onli person who revolve ard me...pple like sesh or even chan's much more worth mentioning abt..or the sluts n bitches lying ard my relatives chain...at least we run the same blood...r worth mentiong...small peas like u??? prob in my leisure time i will prompt into ya...get a life...

i need to brush up my eng...it's gettin trashy...hahZ...special thX to wileen n weiling...cos when i cried, weiling was consoling me the whole time in the loo...n when i feel lost, wileen kept asking if i'm alright...at least she bother to msg me the next day to ask me wot happen...love u all!!!!

...

2005-09-17T21:34:00.000+08:00

the damn weather is sweltering...my working environment's by no way pleasing...they're overbearing...goodness..they actually tire me out by sauntering btwn fixtures, shelving to serving customers at the counters...wot the hell's GST...greet, Smile, Thanks...goodness...i'm overcome w fatigue la...how to perform all these hypocrisy...

n can u imagine...the area manager...slutty jean actually says she cant hear me...she was standing in front of me la...n weiling's behind, yet WL can hear...lunatics...they're the bunch o arseholes to love to banish pple into their lifeless life...working til 4+ in the noon on a beautiful sat...

no life...to tink tt they actually eradicate my interest in goin out w my fren...not tt i rest much at home...but at least, it's comfortable n i felt blessed...the stock count onli took us 3-4 hrs today...god knows y they held us up til 4+...n they blamed us for our deficiency in efforts...n our retardiness...goodness...fuckers...

but at least i'm praised by CHAN...for being good...hahZ...at least u noe how to appreciate talents...not for stock counting...nahZ...i dun do menial stuff..but for my high intellectual for being able to delivers my counts so soon...

weiling's nice...haha...looks like i'm in love w another gal...muackZ...cya pple...i'm tired...gotta turn in soon...*ZZZzzzZZZzzZZzZ*

cheers

2005-09-03T10:42:00.000+08:00

time realli flies...it's been 2 weeks within a glimpse...

days in cheers are hard...i've to wake up b4 the brk o dawn...5:30...yeah...b in sch by 730...to open the entrance o cheers...i've learnt the printing of daily PO...registering the cashier box...taking n receiving invoices...the virtual floor of the stores...the arrangement o product...lotsa...to the extent...i've neglected edmund...sorri baby...

i finally broke down juZ ytd...cos i was assigned w too many things...i noe everyone's goin strong despite the mountainous workload...but how can i shuffle betw the ground floor n cashier at the same time...unless i clone myself...i've to work at the ground floor...n other pple who's not cashier doin at my counter...wot's left to say? i'm dispensable or they tink i cant count for nuts...

weiling's on MC...thus i gotta cover her work for her...it's tedious...i'm tired...fancy standg at the same spot for 8 hrs...n the queue's bloody long...n the shillings in the cash register is pathetic...to the extent we gotta beg our customer for it...

i'm tired...tired...tired...finally got my pay...yeah...but i doubt i got the time to spend it...it's abt time i get another MC...lookg at the rate i gotta work...i wun die o work..but fatigue...

cheers

2005-09-03T10:41:00.000+08:00